Sunday, November 21, 2010

Autumn

Random pictures of Greg taken this Autumn........
Enjoying seeing a live donkey

he does like photos can you tell?

playing at Buskett

my favourite pic of Autumn so far

seeing ducks at San Anton Gardens

hmmmmm not sure he liked the idea

peekaboo

time for lunch feeling peckish

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

1000 graces from God 18 - 27

18. The ability to do anything we wish
19. Family who are there for you to help at any moment
20. My son's laugh when I do funny faces
21. Food, that is always in our kitchen ready to be consumed
22. Baking goodies
23. Money, something we seem that we can't do without but always somehow comes at the right moment
24. Books, available to us at our own fingertips
25. Love
26. Friendship, re defining the meaning (thanks cous!)
27. Hugs and kisses, given for free meaning a lot!

What are you grateful for at the moment? What graces do you feel were presented to you?

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Lost

My mind feels utterly full of unprocessed thoughts.

Thoughts I didn't know were there.....

Like many other days I woke up angry.  For what reason I have had no idea.  Anger directed to my husband and son.  I feel tired of doing so.  It is unneccessary, it only makes the people I love miserable and yet I can't control myself.

This morning having a few minutes alone, I put on my CD of Christian songs to clear my mind, asked God for his guidance and went into meditation.  I didn't quite meditate as lots of thoughts kept coming up to me.  At one point I felt inspired into poetry and suddenly it struck me why I am angry.

Angry, coz I cannot play with my son the way he'd love to and we most of the time end up in front of TV which I don't want to either.
Angry, coz I cannot clean my own home.  I love keeping it in shape but I have to let others do it for me.
Angry, coz I feel so utterly tired, that even an evening with friends ends up on a bad note.
Angry, coz all this makes me angry and uncontrolable and hurt the people I love, coz I judge them and think unrespectful thoughts of them.

So I am letting down my tears of anger....trusting Jesus to give me the strength to overcome these adversities.
Praying, that I haven't done much damage to my son's development with my bursts of anger.

My mind is still clogged, but I do feel that little bit lighter.  It's difficult to focus at times on the goals I wish for my family, still my faith will not let up, I know I will get there.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Sick - Joyful moments

We've been sick with colds.

After a week inside, we were impatient to go outdoors and although the weather ain't good, I wrapped us well and went to the garden nearby.

Greg was estatic to say the least and seeing him jumping in the dead leaves and running from me as I threw him grass was a joy.  The simple pleasures of life!  It made me see how an uncomplaining kid I got and how important it is for him to have outside time as much as possible.

He's still waking at 4 am and although he tries, he doesn't manage to sleep and in the end gives up.  The good thing is that we have eliminated the jumping on bed, requesting snacks, tantruming etc at this hour.  Still trying to find a solution but am calm about it- after all things fall into place quite quickly.

Tomorrow, I got my next gyni appt.- 30 weeks friends. the countdown is officially on!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

random Saturday

Today I had a sad feeling.

My sister came over and frankly we couldn't find anything to talk about to each other.  It was a struggle which we both at times gave up of persuing.

I had hoped long ago, that once we both have kids we would become closer.  Yet this is not the case- maybe coz our parenting methods are so different, maybe coz our way of thinking is very different...probably its a combination of all but it feels like a failure.  Something I wanted to do and never got to!

On another topic, I have updated my wish list of things to accomplish and was very interested in seeing my once long list reduced to half a dozen things.  I was quite interested to note that my yoga teacher course is on the not sure list now.  Why? I got no idea myself when that happened but recently I started thinking about it since I was meant to start it next May.  I realised that I wasn't much interested in doing it per se.  I'd like to, but not to use as a job anymore but only as a byproduct kinda to further my insight in my future work.  Yes, I do believe that when the kiddies start school I will go back to work.  I am thinking on something to do with child care truly.  Maybe it will only be voluntary work, I really have no idea just yet but I know I will need to work hard for a rhythm when the time comes.

Tonight I hope to manage and have a date with hubs...well just a night in really together but still.  Yet this cold I got isn't being very helpful and am more inclined to sleep -yikes-.

Today, I am glad for some time alone at home.  For my son who's fed up of being inside all day long but doesn't quite complain much.  For hubs who is being soooo helpful even if I don't show the appreciation all the time.  For the work he's got that is enabling us to finally start renovations on our home.  It's gonna be a quiet weekend at home and that's ok.  We will have lots of filled days when the kids get older :) so enjoying the inactivity is what I am practicing right now.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

1000 graces from God 12 -17

God grants peace when we let it in his hands.

So our everlasting conundrum of Greg waking at 3 am and can't fall asleep without the breast and normally now not quite sleeping but just enjoy its comfort in quiet snugness, has been solved.  i have placed it in God's hand - I can't and won't actually force my child into something against his nature.  As I was advised this is the next step before weaning themselves completely out of the breast.  Greg will probably wean himself before the baby is born.  He sleeps without it, he just needs it early morning.  I looked at it in a different perspective,  God showed me how the breast time had become a routine and now is a valued moment of closeness- grace 12!

We've been meaning to do our bedroom for 2 years now.  But it never worked out.  Me & Dave, have been the most connected recently I feel and are now nearing completion of the bedroom saga.  I looked at it recently as a way that God helped us to reconnect and become closer and when the bedroom is finally done, we'd be on the right track- grace 13!

14 - feeling your kicking child within
15- growing bellies
16 - family moments
17 - being able and willing to show love

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Autumn

Random pictures of Greg taken this Autumn........
Enjoying seeing a live donkey

he does like photos can you tell?

playing at Buskett

my favourite pic of Autumn so far

seeing ducks at San Anton Gardens

hmmmmm not sure he liked the idea

peekaboo

time for lunch feeling peckish

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

1000 graces from God 18 - 27

18. The ability to do anything we wish
19. Family who are there for you to help at any moment
20. My son's laugh when I do funny faces
21. Food, that is always in our kitchen ready to be consumed
22. Baking goodies
23. Money, something we seem that we can't do without but always somehow comes at the right moment
24. Books, available to us at our own fingertips
25. Love
26. Friendship, re defining the meaning (thanks cous!)
27. Hugs and kisses, given for free meaning a lot!

What are you grateful for at the moment? What graces do you feel were presented to you?

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Lost

My mind feels utterly full of unprocessed thoughts.

Thoughts I didn't know were there.....

Like many other days I woke up angry.  For what reason I have had no idea.  Anger directed to my husband and son.  I feel tired of doing so.  It is unneccessary, it only makes the people I love miserable and yet I can't control myself.

This morning having a few minutes alone, I put on my CD of Christian songs to clear my mind, asked God for his guidance and went into meditation.  I didn't quite meditate as lots of thoughts kept coming up to me.  At one point I felt inspired into poetry and suddenly it struck me why I am angry.

Angry, coz I cannot play with my son the way he'd love to and we most of the time end up in front of TV which I don't want to either.
Angry, coz I cannot clean my own home.  I love keeping it in shape but I have to let others do it for me.
Angry, coz I feel so utterly tired, that even an evening with friends ends up on a bad note.
Angry, coz all this makes me angry and uncontrolable and hurt the people I love, coz I judge them and think unrespectful thoughts of them.

So I am letting down my tears of anger....trusting Jesus to give me the strength to overcome these adversities.
Praying, that I haven't done much damage to my son's development with my bursts of anger.

My mind is still clogged, but I do feel that little bit lighter.  It's difficult to focus at times on the goals I wish for my family, still my faith will not let up, I know I will get there.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Sick - Joyful moments

We've been sick with colds.

After a week inside, we were impatient to go outdoors and although the weather ain't good, I wrapped us well and went to the garden nearby.

Greg was estatic to say the least and seeing him jumping in the dead leaves and running from me as I threw him grass was a joy.  The simple pleasures of life!  It made me see how an uncomplaining kid I got and how important it is for him to have outside time as much as possible.

He's still waking at 4 am and although he tries, he doesn't manage to sleep and in the end gives up.  The good thing is that we have eliminated the jumping on bed, requesting snacks, tantruming etc at this hour.  Still trying to find a solution but am calm about it- after all things fall into place quite quickly.

Tomorrow, I got my next gyni appt.- 30 weeks friends. the countdown is officially on!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

random Saturday

Today I had a sad feeling.

My sister came over and frankly we couldn't find anything to talk about to each other.  It was a struggle which we both at times gave up of persuing.

I had hoped long ago, that once we both have kids we would become closer.  Yet this is not the case- maybe coz our parenting methods are so different, maybe coz our way of thinking is very different...probably its a combination of all but it feels like a failure.  Something I wanted to do and never got to!

On another topic, I have updated my wish list of things to accomplish and was very interested in seeing my once long list reduced to half a dozen things.  I was quite interested to note that my yoga teacher course is on the not sure list now.  Why? I got no idea myself when that happened but recently I started thinking about it since I was meant to start it next May.  I realised that I wasn't much interested in doing it per se.  I'd like to, but not to use as a job anymore but only as a byproduct kinda to further my insight in my future work.  Yes, I do believe that when the kiddies start school I will go back to work.  I am thinking on something to do with child care truly.  Maybe it will only be voluntary work, I really have no idea just yet but I know I will need to work hard for a rhythm when the time comes.

Tonight I hope to manage and have a date with hubs...well just a night in really together but still.  Yet this cold I got isn't being very helpful and am more inclined to sleep -yikes-.

Today, I am glad for some time alone at home.  For my son who's fed up of being inside all day long but doesn't quite complain much.  For hubs who is being soooo helpful even if I don't show the appreciation all the time.  For the work he's got that is enabling us to finally start renovations on our home.  It's gonna be a quiet weekend at home and that's ok.  We will have lots of filled days when the kids get older :) so enjoying the inactivity is what I am practicing right now.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

1000 graces from God 12 -17

God grants peace when we let it in his hands.

So our everlasting conundrum of Greg waking at 3 am and can't fall asleep without the breast and normally now not quite sleeping but just enjoy its comfort in quiet snugness, has been solved.  i have placed it in God's hand - I can't and won't actually force my child into something against his nature.  As I was advised this is the next step before weaning themselves completely out of the breast.  Greg will probably wean himself before the baby is born.  He sleeps without it, he just needs it early morning.  I looked at it in a different perspective,  God showed me how the breast time had become a routine and now is a valued moment of closeness- grace 12!

We've been meaning to do our bedroom for 2 years now.  But it never worked out.  Me & Dave, have been the most connected recently I feel and are now nearing completion of the bedroom saga.  I looked at it recently as a way that God helped us to reconnect and become closer and when the bedroom is finally done, we'd be on the right track- grace 13!

14 - feeling your kicking child within
15- growing bellies
16 - family moments
17 - being able and willing to show love