Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Loving 2011: day 15 to 24

I am playing catch up still as I haven't had much time to do these prompts :( so here  we go


day 15: Books

I have read lots of books this year.  However, the book I loved most and I learnt most from is a book entitled A Voice for now by Anne Dickson.  It is one of those books that teach you a lot.  Brings you insight and realise how stupid you sometimes are not to heed certain insticts of yours.  I am glad that it was one of the books I had to read for my Breastfeeding Counselor Course.  Its been an eyeopener.

day 18: Gaps

This prompt left me to wonder.  What gaps did I have this year?  Lori-Lynn mentioned art and yes it was one of the gaps...I felt myself cringe when I read it.  I look at my 2 blank canvases everyday and think I will do something about it- but I haven't!  I think that one of the gaps that need to be filled up next year is art!

That said I also look at my rosary.  Every week I plan that we as a family start saying the rosary again and every week we do not.  It bugs me.  I feel it is important to fullfill this as a family.  So first and foremost, the gap that needs to be filled is saying the rosary.

day 20: Family

Maya was  a planned baby just like her brother.  However, what we did not plan was the energy she provides to the family.  The smiles, the love, the hugs.  Really I could go on!    I defenitely never thought how the dynamics of this family that had quite settled down would change so topsy turvy that 11 months later we are just about to start settling.

How the love she gives to us all makes her indispensable to our household.  How she is capable of making you feel love in your heart so deep it feels like it will explode even just now thinking about her.  Maya - without you our lives would have defenitely been less colourful.

day 21: Letting Go

Anger has been my worst enemy ever.  There were a few times were I got frightened of myself because I feared anger is taking over.  I now realise it is no use containing anger as it will fester inside and the anger will just grow and grow and grow.  I am still working to find the original source of my anger.  However, working slowing and letting go and acknowledging to myself that I am angry has helped a lot.

Letting go has been the most important experience I have learnt this year.  There is no space in my life for anger.  I will eventually let go of it completely and once I will I know my life will be much more fuller.

day 22: Nature

I have always been amazed by nature and have always complained that we do not have any in Malta.  I have been proved wrong and I am so happy about it.  With the books we have provided Greg to learn about nature, I have started to see so many beauty around me that I have never seen before.  It helped me embrace my country more.  The beauty that surrounds our countryside is short of wonderful. 

I am glad to be able and commune more with nature.   To enjoy the silence and comfort it provides.  To see the work of God and how perfect it has been to do all those tiny flowers.

day 24: Trust

I do not know when but at a certain point in my life I stopped trusting.  I wanted to be in control of everything.  I still do!  Yet the children showed me that I need to trust.  To let go. To love.  This was one of the years were I learned more on trust than any other.  Surrendering and letting go are still major issues but I feel myself more relaxed and more able to trust the judgement of others.

And after this I realise what is Worth keeping for day 23

It is worth keeping up my work on trust and anger.  OF letting go and building up.  Of giving myself new foundations and new default settings in my system.  IT is worth all this work because they make me a better, mother, wife & friend.






Saturday, December 17, 2011

Loving 2011: day 12 Time

Time

How have I spent time this year and how can I make better time next year?

Time is always a factor of great concern to all I suppose.  How many times we say that we do not have enough time?  If I think how I spent my time this year and what I had wanted to do originally I see a big difference.  Mainly because it took us 11 months to settle down with our new addition which is no longer a baby but a toddler.

I decided not to quite plan my time for 2012.  The reason is that Gregory should be starting kindergarten in February and since there is a big question mark on how he will react to it etc I have not gone into details of how I want to spend my time next year. 

This year it was all about adjusting and making space for the 4 of us to find balance as a family, as a couple, as mother to my children etc.  We have I believe neared the most approximate we can for now in balance.  Next year I hope to find more time for me actually.  A woman that is full time at home needs more time alone I believe because she has less interaction with the adult world and so has to find more time to make up for this. 

Time

Time however cares for itself.  There no need to rush, no need to try and elongate the day ..... time is really a matter of opinion because if you feel balanced in all your daily activities and not rushed about, you are spending time well!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Loving 2011: day 11 traditions

picture from southern-born-and-bred.blogspot.com
Lighting Advent Candles, telling the St Nicholas story, watching DVDs Christmas related and of course putting up the decorations while singing Christmas carols. 

Wrapping up gifts, baking Christmas goodies, going to Christmas fairs and crib exhibitions.

It all sums up to Christmas full of beauty and good cheer.  It all sums up to a tradition we are building in our new family.  A tradition where baby Jesus is the focus and presents are on the back burner.  Where carol singing is encouraged and going out and about to celebrate this important feast is a fascination.

It's been a good Christmas- the pediment of many other christmasas to come.....I am so looking forward to fine tuning this celebration till it feels completely ours to love and enjoy and cherish just like my childhood memory of this same celebration.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Loving 2011: day 4 to 7

Day 4: Hidden Worlds

I decided to buy this book on wild plants in Malta.  Gregory was fascinated by it and we read the names of plants a million times in a span of 4 days.  With such enthusiasm which rubbed off on me we took the book with us out and about.  We started learning and identifying the plants around us.

Because of a hunch, I got to see a hidden world.  A world I passed by every single day for the past 30 years but which I never looked closely at.  I've seen plants I never even knew they existed let alone took notice of before.  Its a beautiful world.  I am blessed to have been introduced to it and that my son has an unquenching apetite to continue learning more about it.

Day 5: Gifts

When I read this post or rather the title of the prompt nothing came to mind.  While reading however, I remembered the few times that I bought myself a bunch of flowers.  I love flowers and enjoy having some at home.  Its a rare luxury which whenever I fulfill, my heart swells with happiness.  gifts to oneself are precious little oddities that lifts us up and help us get through the day whenever we look at them.  So while I am remembering myself and my flowers, I will also remember never to feel guilty when I give a present to myself :)

And this year I also received a lovely gift from a couple friends of mine.  When I hit my mummy burnout, they lovingly gave me a free massage.  I enjoyed being pampered and spend some quality time with this special friend of mine.  Thank you!

Day 6: Images

Images are captured moments.  Moments where you can see love and peace scattered abundantly....


the first week after giving birth

 this captures the essence of Greg

a moment of pure family bliss during Maya's Baptism
Day 7: The Body

The body is a part of us.  Not something apart.  When I hit mummy burnout I realised albeit slightly late in the day that I needed rest.  I just left it all and went on a retreat that same weekend.  I was anxious about the kids and my husband who had to deal with it all but once I got there, I felt peace envelop me. I knew I did the right decision.  I still look back wistfully and fondly at those 2 days and I realised that its ok to step back.  To let go and important to let the wisdom within to guide you.


Loving 2011

I decided to get into an insightful month after reading this.  It was very inspiring and decided to tag along.  IF you wish to join to you can do so by going here.

In the meantime let me catch up!

Day One: What surprised you this year and what gift did you find in that surprise?

It surprised me the chnage my daughter brought to our family.  Although I knew the dynamics would be changed once she arrived, I somehow didn't realise to what extent that was.  We had a few false starts and challenging months but it was a lovely surprise at the same time.  Her smiles, laughs and love simply makes our family more wholesome.

 Day Two: What goals did you realize this year?

I guess I have 2 kind of goals.

The first one is finally getting to start my breastfeeding counselor course.  I've been wanting to do something like this since the birth of my son nearly 3 years ago but always found excuses not to do it- mainly financial.  Since September I have been slowly unfolding this course and I am so happy to have done so.

The second goes hand in hand with the first one.  Been wishing to create a community of moms in our village.  After again 3 years it is finally getting there.  Possibly it will be a success sometime next year.

Day Three: What Did You Learn About Yourself This Year?

I learnt a lot about my shortcomings.  This has led to me striving to be better.  Although its very slow progress I can see myself different and feel different inside out.  I have finally understood more what Attachment Parenting means and can finally be more true to its origins.  I have found back my Spirituality and that has given me a grounding for me and my family.  I have found a few default settings in my brain system that I am trying to reboot so that communication with my husband is better.  Its been a year full of personal growth actually and all is intertwined.


Thursday, December 8, 2011

Disciplining Adults

The most difficult aspect in disciplining children is actually disciplining ourselves the parents and those who are in close contact with our children.

It is already not so easy to keep oneself in check but how do you make others understand the importance of certain aspects of parenting or rather disciplining?

The child does something which is unacceptable like hitting.  You admonish him and give him a time in (rather than a time out I prefer a time in.  We spend 5 minutes together doing nothing apart for reminding him that it is not acceptable to hit and why) BUT you still cuddle him and comfort him.  Is that unusual?  Do you think you are not giving him the right interpretation?

Let me try explain the reasoning- you are telling your child that it is not ok to do certain things like hitting.  However it is ok to feel upset about the whole issue of having been reminded and got into a time in and mama is still here to make you feel better about it.  Firm yet gentle!

I find this hard to get it across certain people and its frustrating since things than normally escalate even more.  In this quest of mine to discipline my children firmly yet gently I have taken a new year resolution already- that to stop shouting at my children when I am tired or out of it.  To ask for more help if I feel the need without the nagging feeling of being not a good enough mother.  To LISTEN more to my children (my son if he sees me getting angry and sometimes I haven't even shouted he tells dont shout mama- it does not always get across to me but many a time I find it like a bucket of cold water and stops me immediately from becoming like an angry bull).

And you how do you find discipline?

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Christmassy

Its Christmas time!

This year I am paying more attention to Advent.  We have put 4 candles up decorated with pine cones & needles and we are lighting one up every Advent Sunday.  We are also praying more as a family and also myself alone.  Gregory gets to do some charity work by donating some of his saved money to a cause. 

And because today its 1st December we started opening our Advent calendar and put up the decorations.  I am also telling my boy the story of Santa Claus (St Nicholas) and of Jesus.

165. Prayers
166. Stories
167. Progress
168.  Talking Maya both with sign language & actual words
169. Pretend Play
170. Presents ready to be put under the tree
171. carol singing
172. More teeth coming out
173. Playing together
174. Copying all her brother does
175.  Greg's shadow
176.  Attached to mama's pants
177. Help
178.  Meeting up friends
179. Meditation

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Loving 2011: day 15 to 24

I am playing catch up still as I haven't had much time to do these prompts :( so here  we go


day 15: Books

I have read lots of books this year.  However, the book I loved most and I learnt most from is a book entitled A Voice for now by Anne Dickson.  It is one of those books that teach you a lot.  Brings you insight and realise how stupid you sometimes are not to heed certain insticts of yours.  I am glad that it was one of the books I had to read for my Breastfeeding Counselor Course.  Its been an eyeopener.

day 18: Gaps

This prompt left me to wonder.  What gaps did I have this year?  Lori-Lynn mentioned art and yes it was one of the gaps...I felt myself cringe when I read it.  I look at my 2 blank canvases everyday and think I will do something about it- but I haven't!  I think that one of the gaps that need to be filled up next year is art!

That said I also look at my rosary.  Every week I plan that we as a family start saying the rosary again and every week we do not.  It bugs me.  I feel it is important to fullfill this as a family.  So first and foremost, the gap that needs to be filled is saying the rosary.

day 20: Family

Maya was  a planned baby just like her brother.  However, what we did not plan was the energy she provides to the family.  The smiles, the love, the hugs.  Really I could go on!    I defenitely never thought how the dynamics of this family that had quite settled down would change so topsy turvy that 11 months later we are just about to start settling.

How the love she gives to us all makes her indispensable to our household.  How she is capable of making you feel love in your heart so deep it feels like it will explode even just now thinking about her.  Maya - without you our lives would have defenitely been less colourful.

day 21: Letting Go

Anger has been my worst enemy ever.  There were a few times were I got frightened of myself because I feared anger is taking over.  I now realise it is no use containing anger as it will fester inside and the anger will just grow and grow and grow.  I am still working to find the original source of my anger.  However, working slowing and letting go and acknowledging to myself that I am angry has helped a lot.

Letting go has been the most important experience I have learnt this year.  There is no space in my life for anger.  I will eventually let go of it completely and once I will I know my life will be much more fuller.

day 22: Nature

I have always been amazed by nature and have always complained that we do not have any in Malta.  I have been proved wrong and I am so happy about it.  With the books we have provided Greg to learn about nature, I have started to see so many beauty around me that I have never seen before.  It helped me embrace my country more.  The beauty that surrounds our countryside is short of wonderful. 

I am glad to be able and commune more with nature.   To enjoy the silence and comfort it provides.  To see the work of God and how perfect it has been to do all those tiny flowers.

day 24: Trust

I do not know when but at a certain point in my life I stopped trusting.  I wanted to be in control of everything.  I still do!  Yet the children showed me that I need to trust.  To let go. To love.  This was one of the years were I learned more on trust than any other.  Surrendering and letting go are still major issues but I feel myself more relaxed and more able to trust the judgement of others.

And after this I realise what is Worth keeping for day 23

It is worth keeping up my work on trust and anger.  OF letting go and building up.  Of giving myself new foundations and new default settings in my system.  IT is worth all this work because they make me a better, mother, wife & friend.






Saturday, December 17, 2011

Loving 2011: day 12 Time

Time

How have I spent time this year and how can I make better time next year?

Time is always a factor of great concern to all I suppose.  How many times we say that we do not have enough time?  If I think how I spent my time this year and what I had wanted to do originally I see a big difference.  Mainly because it took us 11 months to settle down with our new addition which is no longer a baby but a toddler.

I decided not to quite plan my time for 2012.  The reason is that Gregory should be starting kindergarten in February and since there is a big question mark on how he will react to it etc I have not gone into details of how I want to spend my time next year. 

This year it was all about adjusting and making space for the 4 of us to find balance as a family, as a couple, as mother to my children etc.  We have I believe neared the most approximate we can for now in balance.  Next year I hope to find more time for me actually.  A woman that is full time at home needs more time alone I believe because she has less interaction with the adult world and so has to find more time to make up for this. 

Time

Time however cares for itself.  There no need to rush, no need to try and elongate the day ..... time is really a matter of opinion because if you feel balanced in all your daily activities and not rushed about, you are spending time well!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Loving 2011: day 11 traditions

picture from southern-born-and-bred.blogspot.com
Lighting Advent Candles, telling the St Nicholas story, watching DVDs Christmas related and of course putting up the decorations while singing Christmas carols. 

Wrapping up gifts, baking Christmas goodies, going to Christmas fairs and crib exhibitions.

It all sums up to Christmas full of beauty and good cheer.  It all sums up to a tradition we are building in our new family.  A tradition where baby Jesus is the focus and presents are on the back burner.  Where carol singing is encouraged and going out and about to celebrate this important feast is a fascination.

It's been a good Christmas- the pediment of many other christmasas to come.....I am so looking forward to fine tuning this celebration till it feels completely ours to love and enjoy and cherish just like my childhood memory of this same celebration.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Loving 2011: day 4 to 7

Day 4: Hidden Worlds

I decided to buy this book on wild plants in Malta.  Gregory was fascinated by it and we read the names of plants a million times in a span of 4 days.  With such enthusiasm which rubbed off on me we took the book with us out and about.  We started learning and identifying the plants around us.

Because of a hunch, I got to see a hidden world.  A world I passed by every single day for the past 30 years but which I never looked closely at.  I've seen plants I never even knew they existed let alone took notice of before.  Its a beautiful world.  I am blessed to have been introduced to it and that my son has an unquenching apetite to continue learning more about it.

Day 5: Gifts

When I read this post or rather the title of the prompt nothing came to mind.  While reading however, I remembered the few times that I bought myself a bunch of flowers.  I love flowers and enjoy having some at home.  Its a rare luxury which whenever I fulfill, my heart swells with happiness.  gifts to oneself are precious little oddities that lifts us up and help us get through the day whenever we look at them.  So while I am remembering myself and my flowers, I will also remember never to feel guilty when I give a present to myself :)

And this year I also received a lovely gift from a couple friends of mine.  When I hit my mummy burnout, they lovingly gave me a free massage.  I enjoyed being pampered and spend some quality time with this special friend of mine.  Thank you!

Day 6: Images

Images are captured moments.  Moments where you can see love and peace scattered abundantly....


the first week after giving birth

 this captures the essence of Greg

a moment of pure family bliss during Maya's Baptism
Day 7: The Body

The body is a part of us.  Not something apart.  When I hit mummy burnout I realised albeit slightly late in the day that I needed rest.  I just left it all and went on a retreat that same weekend.  I was anxious about the kids and my husband who had to deal with it all but once I got there, I felt peace envelop me. I knew I did the right decision.  I still look back wistfully and fondly at those 2 days and I realised that its ok to step back.  To let go and important to let the wisdom within to guide you.


Loving 2011

I decided to get into an insightful month after reading this.  It was very inspiring and decided to tag along.  IF you wish to join to you can do so by going here.

In the meantime let me catch up!

Day One: What surprised you this year and what gift did you find in that surprise?

It surprised me the chnage my daughter brought to our family.  Although I knew the dynamics would be changed once she arrived, I somehow didn't realise to what extent that was.  We had a few false starts and challenging months but it was a lovely surprise at the same time.  Her smiles, laughs and love simply makes our family more wholesome.

 Day Two: What goals did you realize this year?

I guess I have 2 kind of goals.

The first one is finally getting to start my breastfeeding counselor course.  I've been wanting to do something like this since the birth of my son nearly 3 years ago but always found excuses not to do it- mainly financial.  Since September I have been slowly unfolding this course and I am so happy to have done so.

The second goes hand in hand with the first one.  Been wishing to create a community of moms in our village.  After again 3 years it is finally getting there.  Possibly it will be a success sometime next year.

Day Three: What Did You Learn About Yourself This Year?

I learnt a lot about my shortcomings.  This has led to me striving to be better.  Although its very slow progress I can see myself different and feel different inside out.  I have finally understood more what Attachment Parenting means and can finally be more true to its origins.  I have found back my Spirituality and that has given me a grounding for me and my family.  I have found a few default settings in my brain system that I am trying to reboot so that communication with my husband is better.  Its been a year full of personal growth actually and all is intertwined.


Thursday, December 8, 2011

Disciplining Adults

The most difficult aspect in disciplining children is actually disciplining ourselves the parents and those who are in close contact with our children.

It is already not so easy to keep oneself in check but how do you make others understand the importance of certain aspects of parenting or rather disciplining?

The child does something which is unacceptable like hitting.  You admonish him and give him a time in (rather than a time out I prefer a time in.  We spend 5 minutes together doing nothing apart for reminding him that it is not acceptable to hit and why) BUT you still cuddle him and comfort him.  Is that unusual?  Do you think you are not giving him the right interpretation?

Let me try explain the reasoning- you are telling your child that it is not ok to do certain things like hitting.  However it is ok to feel upset about the whole issue of having been reminded and got into a time in and mama is still here to make you feel better about it.  Firm yet gentle!

I find this hard to get it across certain people and its frustrating since things than normally escalate even more.  In this quest of mine to discipline my children firmly yet gently I have taken a new year resolution already- that to stop shouting at my children when I am tired or out of it.  To ask for more help if I feel the need without the nagging feeling of being not a good enough mother.  To LISTEN more to my children (my son if he sees me getting angry and sometimes I haven't even shouted he tells dont shout mama- it does not always get across to me but many a time I find it like a bucket of cold water and stops me immediately from becoming like an angry bull).

And you how do you find discipline?

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Christmassy

Its Christmas time!

This year I am paying more attention to Advent.  We have put 4 candles up decorated with pine cones & needles and we are lighting one up every Advent Sunday.  We are also praying more as a family and also myself alone.  Gregory gets to do some charity work by donating some of his saved money to a cause. 

And because today its 1st December we started opening our Advent calendar and put up the decorations.  I am also telling my boy the story of Santa Claus (St Nicholas) and of Jesus.

165. Prayers
166. Stories
167. Progress
168.  Talking Maya both with sign language & actual words
169. Pretend Play
170. Presents ready to be put under the tree
171. carol singing
172. More teeth coming out
173. Playing together
174. Copying all her brother does
175.  Greg's shadow
176.  Attached to mama's pants
177. Help
178.  Meeting up friends
179. Meditation