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Monday, March 26, 2012

Life at school- uneasiness

Since the day I got to know who my son's teacher would be at kindergarten I felt uneasy. 

Originally we were advised of a different teacher, with whom we were pleased and our son seemed to like.  It would have been a class of 14 students- not big really- and we were happy.  Than last minute we were told that the education department asked them to put the new students (4) into a different class with a different teacher and where given one which had just gone out on pension. 

Of course we were biased on the fact that from a young, sweet and energetic teacher he was getting this oldish (62 yrs), not energetic and not inspiring teacher.  However, this notwithstanding, I had an unease in my stomach.  It subsided when Gregory started going quite happy to school and seemed to transfer trust to his teacher but still there was this lingering doubt.

Than of course started those little things which would infuriate me like seeing my always lefthanded son trying to eat and draw with his right side.  I told him not to listen to anyone who tells him to use his right unless he is happy to do it and he has now reverted to left handedness.  Than the incident were I was told to give him only bread for school as he makes a mess with the other food or the fact that crackers which he used to eat daily started coming  back and Greg telling me that the teacher told him no beacause they are messy.  I told him that if he wants to eat them he should not listen to his teacher and today I gave them to him not in the plastic so he can just munch on them.  Or the punishments that he constantly mentions of which I am not happy.  Or the many rumours which are actually founded that she shouts a lot, sometimes raises her hands on them and now that the door between the two kindergarten classes is being kept closed.

My son seems happy about school.  Yet I am not comfortable with this teacher.  I will of course speak with the headmaster and I will probably have to confront her eventually.  Today me and another mother have written a letter tot he education department- her daughter has got out so negatively from this teacher that she doesn't want to go to school anymore!  The education department called her and we wrote also this letter and hope that the teacher is removed fast, hopefully by mid April.

Just now I am wondering if I am doing the right thing since he seems good and happy.  At the same time he doesn't tell me anything about school and asking questions doesn't really get him to tell me much anyway.  Today she told me that he is a big boy to take the breast.  What does she care anyway?  Since we are happy with this arrangement and doesn't effect her schooling she shouldn't question my decision and she shouldn't do it regardless really.

I am sad that she seems to be discipline wise completely the opposite if what I was hoping he will get at school.
I am threatened by this woman because I do not feel confident enough in the way I should handle her
I am afraid of her effect unbeknown to me she is having on my son
I am angry that the headmaster is doing nothing about it even though he has had several complaints not from her own students' parents but also from others when she was supplementing.
I am livid that she thinks she knows best what is good for my son & that communication with her is only limited to the way it suits her
I am concerned because no one seems willing to tell me how my son's day proceeds or how he reacts to certain things- there is no parents day for kindergarten and i simply can not understand why.

And the only way out of this is for me to get out of my comfort zone and engage all people concerned till I get the results required.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

What goes through my son's mind

Here are a few random conversations that happened today with my son:

Me: Tomorrow you and Maya will stay with grandma while me and daddy go to a wedding.  There will be Uncle Gabe & Aunt Dodo, Audrey & Daniel and Petra & Andrew who are getting married.
Greg: Uncle Gabe & Aunt Dodo come to grandma house
Me: They can't we will all be at the wedding.
Greg: I love Uncle Gabe & Aunt Dodo
Me: Do you miss them?  Shall I see when we can meet them?
Greg: Yes- come our home & do a cushion fight

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Greg: Thank you mummy for the flowers
Me: You're welcome

These sudden thank yous are all very much cherished :) and are becoming more common by the day

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Greg: Maya don't play with the switch or you get a punishment (punishment unfortunately he learnt courtesy of his teacher!)

Love this little man of mine, he is becoming such a wonderful guy !



Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Clinging

There is my cheeky son!  He is 3 years and started school a month ago.

Gregory at this age can be a joy to be around.  Telling stories or just telling you what will happen next during the day or just an insight on something that happened at school.  He has LOTS of energy and enjoys laughing that beautiful smile of his.

He is also very much clinging to his last vestiges of babyhood.  As if letting go of them will somehow change everything.  Its more a reversal to some toddler ways really like won't eat unless given to him which alas I will have to put my foot down as it is also effecting his eating at school.  Suddenly telling me that he can't put on or off clothes and shoes or cut the veggies.  The problem here would stem into a tantrum of he can't do it but doesn't want me to help him do it.  It can be a tight rope!
We are still finding it difficult to have him understand emotions and needs or wants which still causes tantrums.  That is our ongoing battle.

On the other hand, he is starting to show empathy once in a blue moon.  He also started to show affection to those around him by hugging them.  Saying please and thank you and sometimes sorry without our prompting at all.  Started to sing songs whereas generally he doesn't quite like to join in (although he does tend to sing them to himself and not with us or so on).

He is still very volatile but it is getting better, very, very, extremely, slowly.  I catch myself worrying way too much on him.  I need to release him more into the world after all he is accountable for his own feelings and while I still need to guide him for still quite a long time, I also need to show him that he is accountable for anything he does, says or decides and while I am always there for him, he needs to find his own path.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Life at school- uneasiness

Since the day I got to know who my son's teacher would be at kindergarten I felt uneasy. 

Originally we were advised of a different teacher, with whom we were pleased and our son seemed to like.  It would have been a class of 14 students- not big really- and we were happy.  Than last minute we were told that the education department asked them to put the new students (4) into a different class with a different teacher and where given one which had just gone out on pension. 

Of course we were biased on the fact that from a young, sweet and energetic teacher he was getting this oldish (62 yrs), not energetic and not inspiring teacher.  However, this notwithstanding, I had an unease in my stomach.  It subsided when Gregory started going quite happy to school and seemed to transfer trust to his teacher but still there was this lingering doubt.

Than of course started those little things which would infuriate me like seeing my always lefthanded son trying to eat and draw with his right side.  I told him not to listen to anyone who tells him to use his right unless he is happy to do it and he has now reverted to left handedness.  Than the incident were I was told to give him only bread for school as he makes a mess with the other food or the fact that crackers which he used to eat daily started coming  back and Greg telling me that the teacher told him no beacause they are messy.  I told him that if he wants to eat them he should not listen to his teacher and today I gave them to him not in the plastic so he can just munch on them.  Or the punishments that he constantly mentions of which I am not happy.  Or the many rumours which are actually founded that she shouts a lot, sometimes raises her hands on them and now that the door between the two kindergarten classes is being kept closed.

My son seems happy about school.  Yet I am not comfortable with this teacher.  I will of course speak with the headmaster and I will probably have to confront her eventually.  Today me and another mother have written a letter tot he education department- her daughter has got out so negatively from this teacher that she doesn't want to go to school anymore!  The education department called her and we wrote also this letter and hope that the teacher is removed fast, hopefully by mid April.

Just now I am wondering if I am doing the right thing since he seems good and happy.  At the same time he doesn't tell me anything about school and asking questions doesn't really get him to tell me much anyway.  Today she told me that he is a big boy to take the breast.  What does she care anyway?  Since we are happy with this arrangement and doesn't effect her schooling she shouldn't question my decision and she shouldn't do it regardless really.

I am sad that she seems to be discipline wise completely the opposite if what I was hoping he will get at school.
I am threatened by this woman because I do not feel confident enough in the way I should handle her
I am afraid of her effect unbeknown to me she is having on my son
I am angry that the headmaster is doing nothing about it even though he has had several complaints not from her own students' parents but also from others when she was supplementing.
I am livid that she thinks she knows best what is good for my son & that communication with her is only limited to the way it suits her
I am concerned because no one seems willing to tell me how my son's day proceeds or how he reacts to certain things- there is no parents day for kindergarten and i simply can not understand why.

And the only way out of this is for me to get out of my comfort zone and engage all people concerned till I get the results required.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

What goes through my son's mind

Here are a few random conversations that happened today with my son:

Me: Tomorrow you and Maya will stay with grandma while me and daddy go to a wedding.  There will be Uncle Gabe & Aunt Dodo, Audrey & Daniel and Petra & Andrew who are getting married.
Greg: Uncle Gabe & Aunt Dodo come to grandma house
Me: They can't we will all be at the wedding.
Greg: I love Uncle Gabe & Aunt Dodo
Me: Do you miss them?  Shall I see when we can meet them?
Greg: Yes- come our home & do a cushion fight

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Greg: Thank you mummy for the flowers
Me: You're welcome

These sudden thank yous are all very much cherished :) and are becoming more common by the day

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Greg: Maya don't play with the switch or you get a punishment (punishment unfortunately he learnt courtesy of his teacher!)

Love this little man of mine, he is becoming such a wonderful guy !



Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Clinging

There is my cheeky son!  He is 3 years and started school a month ago.

Gregory at this age can be a joy to be around.  Telling stories or just telling you what will happen next during the day or just an insight on something that happened at school.  He has LOTS of energy and enjoys laughing that beautiful smile of his.

He is also very much clinging to his last vestiges of babyhood.  As if letting go of them will somehow change everything.  Its more a reversal to some toddler ways really like won't eat unless given to him which alas I will have to put my foot down as it is also effecting his eating at school.  Suddenly telling me that he can't put on or off clothes and shoes or cut the veggies.  The problem here would stem into a tantrum of he can't do it but doesn't want me to help him do it.  It can be a tight rope!
We are still finding it difficult to have him understand emotions and needs or wants which still causes tantrums.  That is our ongoing battle.

On the other hand, he is starting to show empathy once in a blue moon.  He also started to show affection to those around him by hugging them.  Saying please and thank you and sometimes sorry without our prompting at all.  Started to sing songs whereas generally he doesn't quite like to join in (although he does tend to sing them to himself and not with us or so on).

He is still very volatile but it is getting better, very, very, extremely, slowly.  I catch myself worrying way too much on him.  I need to release him more into the world after all he is accountable for his own feelings and while I still need to guide him for still quite a long time, I also need to show him that he is accountable for anything he does, says or decides and while I am always there for him, he needs to find his own path.