Friday, December 31, 2010

The end of a year full of positiviness for the new one

Looking back on this year, it has had a lot of ups and downs.

Thankfully mainly they were happy stories but also a lot of worries and stress.

2010 showed me a lot and I accepted a bit and left quite a lot of it unattended.

Tomorrow starts a new year, all I will be doing is expanding my new found knowledge to give love, forgiveness, compassion & kindness to the ones surrounding me.

It is a big challenge mind because I tend to loose patience quite quickly and anger issues persist and even if I see myself doing wrong I never have the strength of stopping doing it.  So this is the year were I plan to overcome anger once and for all.

I look forward to the new year with positive intentions, knowing some of the difficult moments we'll go through as a family, imagining others and simply knowing that others will surely come our way that we are not aware of.

However, living a more simple life means that expecting less you will gain more and that is a wonderful thing to know!

Monday, December 27, 2010

pre partum depression

Got a headache.
Am lethargic.
Big & slow.

3 weeks left.
Seems like a year.
Moaning when should be thankful.

Everything suspended.
Waiting...
tick, tock, tick, tock.

Waiting for the morning to pass.
Waiting for the afternoon to pass.
Sleeping till morning comes.
Redo the above process again.

This is a bad kinda "poem" and not exactly a happy one either.  It however reflects the disjointed feelings I have these days, even when thankful and enjoying the moment.  I look forward to the birth of this one- not really to meet the baby, but more to finally be able to live again.  Yes maybe I will be more tired caring for 2 and maybe my patience will be even more taut than usual and yet, I know as a certainty that life with the baby outside the womb will be much better, more fruitful, less tiring really (this chronic fatigue that no matter how much you sleep, relax and do nothing and so on can remove).



Friday, December 24, 2010

The grace which is Christmas 39 to 48

It's Christmas Eve! 

I find it fitting to honour this very special day with some more of God's good graces.  Truth be said I realised this week how bountiful they have been in the past few weeks.

39.  private work for my hubs even if it is meaning so much less time together it is helping us much financially and he is gaining more reputation in his field.  Proud of you darling!
40. my parents' business finally starting again with the help of friends which I am trusting will give them that bit extra security finally to relieve their financial problems.
41. Internet access which can keep me in touch with my family & friends abroad
42. lots of baked goodies, made with love and care to all my family & friends to share
43. The Maltese government hospital. maybe we wait long and has waiting lists, but eveyone is efficient and helpful
44. children - they remind us of our memories
45. winter without much cold.  most days we have the sun and temp. rarely  go down less 15 degrees celcius
46. stubbornness so I never give up on my goal
47.  seeing the path still long to complete this task but knowing that slow is better.
48.  the best grace of all is knowing Jesus will once more be born within us to forgive our sins tonight

I trust your Christmas is as blessed as mine and more.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

What a bummer I've been! - grace 38

Today I had a slap in the face!

I was reading a blog and about the difficulties they were going through due to his infidelity and her battle to restore their marriage.  While there I saw something that showed me a mistake I have done and realised that I had been silly in my expectations at the time and it was time to go back to square one.

So, although I am being ambiguous about this whole thing, I will re start afresh and set up my heart on firmer ground.

This is a new grace from God showing me the way when I loose it and am stumbling along.  I am glad to have been given this new opportunity and will thrive to make love work more than usual.

Monday, December 13, 2010

What's been happening with my kids!

I haven't updated much on Greg or my pregnancy so with these few precious quiet moments decided to finally do so.

My big baby is growing suddenly way too quickly!  Since the weekend, he started counting (and I don't mean just saying the numbers but actually count) up till 10.  It surprised me I have to say as he never seemed interested in them at all.  He can also recite the ABC's though he doesn't really match them with the actual letters and he likes help with them.  Also since this weekend, he is identifying the following colours: blue, red, brown, yellow, black & orange.  The amount of words he uses in his phrases is astounding and I must admit I lost complete count of them now.  We are at a stage were anything he eats is plain.  Plain pasta or rice mainly.  On the other hand he has tried and started eating sandwiches with cheese, eggs (in whatever form) & cookies (as long as they are plain white ones).  Enjoys plain milk or with ovaltine and is categorically refusing soups & meat and we still haven't gone back to eating fruits unless its the organix pureed variety!  He simply enjoys being read to or told stories or sung to (especially carols right now!) and plays a lot with trucks & cars but nothing much else.  Another extra we have improved on is the cooking.  Most of the time he enjoys helping me stir and throwing veggies in the pots or doing dough or cutting up veg.  He still loves helping with the cleaning (but this is very mood oriented!) and last but not least he simply adores being outside and preferably in the country or where there is soil, flowers & plants to play with!  What I am not enjoying much is having him see too much TV but I am just too heavy and most of the time got no energy to do things with him.  Besides I can't sit down comfortably or find any good position to stay in and in the end let him watch the blessed DVDs.

Character wise, he is a joy to be with (like with any child really).  However, although exploring his boundaries, I am significantly actively showing him what is acceptable and not- which is tiring in itself haha- and most of the time he accepts that authority and doesn't tantrum much.  His sleeping improved and now sleeps till 5 am most nights.  But a slight change in the nighttime routine disturbs him alot so we keep mostly to our routine.  Next month he will be 2 and although we will also have the new baby, am looking forward to see other improvements.

As for the baby I have now 5 weeks left to wait.  Compared to Greg its already way too big.  And yes I do feel that its bigger and heavier and can't wait to deliver it- I truly believe that having baby outside my body will improve a lot of things in my life right now- baby LOVES moving and does that most of the time.  Its already head down and although aware it can still turn around, I have my doubts it will.  These past two days started feeling it very low down making it more difficult to get up or sit down.  The pain has slightly increased though its still manageable.  Otherwise all is normal in our little world.  I felt for a while that baby will come early into the world and the nearer we get to the festive weeks the stronger the feeling....I wonder if it will truly happen.

Well that's all folks! Wish you all a great week.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

1000 graces from God 28 - 37

28. The smell of baked goodies
29.  Mild weather even though I wish some real cold
30.  Workmen doing quick, efficient work
31.  Smiles every morning
32.  Waking at 5 am instead of 3.30 am
33.  Reading blogs that inspire me in my parenting
34.  Finding patience in waiting
35.  Pain & Giddyness that slow me down
36.  A crib in disorder, where my son enjoys playing :)
37.  TV- even though I've been trying to minimise TV watching at the moment its been a God send whenever I lack the enregy.

What are your graces this week?

Friday, December 3, 2010

Christmasy

It's the 3rd of December, I have 7 weeks left (according to the doctors) to give birth.
 My only complaint which has been ongoing throughout these 8 months now is tiredness and my pelvis hurting and it's still my only real complaint!  However, that ain't keeping me back from celebrating Christmas- the birth of Jesus our Lord!

It is my favourite season - even if here the cold is minimal and coats haven't been brought out yet- the decorations, the baking, the presents and the feast in itself.  In fact my idea is to bring up my son looking at it as a celebration of the Jesus' birth as it should be and not of Santa and presents.  That will just be an extra bonus :)

We have lots of activities planned- visiting cribs, watching caroling and puppet shows, seeing the lights lighting up our capital city at night.  It is all simply wonderful and been dreamy about it for over a month already.  Now that December actually started, I have already my decos, presents etc in place, as well as half the baking done....but the tiredness is a killer, after just mixing the mince filling and putting it in jars I feel awful!  However, with the baby kicking unendingly and wondering if it will ever tire of doing so, I let myself dream of this spectacular Christmas even if I know that normally the higher the expectations the lower the results.

I hope you are all gearing up in your Christmas Spirit and may the real spirit be present to guide you along the way.

Blessings

Friday, December 31, 2010

The end of a year full of positiviness for the new one

Looking back on this year, it has had a lot of ups and downs.

Thankfully mainly they were happy stories but also a lot of worries and stress.

2010 showed me a lot and I accepted a bit and left quite a lot of it unattended.

Tomorrow starts a new year, all I will be doing is expanding my new found knowledge to give love, forgiveness, compassion & kindness to the ones surrounding me.

It is a big challenge mind because I tend to loose patience quite quickly and anger issues persist and even if I see myself doing wrong I never have the strength of stopping doing it.  So this is the year were I plan to overcome anger once and for all.

I look forward to the new year with positive intentions, knowing some of the difficult moments we'll go through as a family, imagining others and simply knowing that others will surely come our way that we are not aware of.

However, living a more simple life means that expecting less you will gain more and that is a wonderful thing to know!

Monday, December 27, 2010

pre partum depression

Got a headache.
Am lethargic.
Big & slow.

3 weeks left.
Seems like a year.
Moaning when should be thankful.

Everything suspended.
Waiting...
tick, tock, tick, tock.

Waiting for the morning to pass.
Waiting for the afternoon to pass.
Sleeping till morning comes.
Redo the above process again.

This is a bad kinda "poem" and not exactly a happy one either.  It however reflects the disjointed feelings I have these days, even when thankful and enjoying the moment.  I look forward to the birth of this one- not really to meet the baby, but more to finally be able to live again.  Yes maybe I will be more tired caring for 2 and maybe my patience will be even more taut than usual and yet, I know as a certainty that life with the baby outside the womb will be much better, more fruitful, less tiring really (this chronic fatigue that no matter how much you sleep, relax and do nothing and so on can remove).



Friday, December 24, 2010

The grace which is Christmas 39 to 48

It's Christmas Eve! 

I find it fitting to honour this very special day with some more of God's good graces.  Truth be said I realised this week how bountiful they have been in the past few weeks.

39.  private work for my hubs even if it is meaning so much less time together it is helping us much financially and he is gaining more reputation in his field.  Proud of you darling!
40. my parents' business finally starting again with the help of friends which I am trusting will give them that bit extra security finally to relieve their financial problems.
41. Internet access which can keep me in touch with my family & friends abroad
42. lots of baked goodies, made with love and care to all my family & friends to share
43. The Maltese government hospital. maybe we wait long and has waiting lists, but eveyone is efficient and helpful
44. children - they remind us of our memories
45. winter without much cold.  most days we have the sun and temp. rarely  go down less 15 degrees celcius
46. stubbornness so I never give up on my goal
47.  seeing the path still long to complete this task but knowing that slow is better.
48.  the best grace of all is knowing Jesus will once more be born within us to forgive our sins tonight

I trust your Christmas is as blessed as mine and more.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

What a bummer I've been! - grace 38

Today I had a slap in the face!

I was reading a blog and about the difficulties they were going through due to his infidelity and her battle to restore their marriage.  While there I saw something that showed me a mistake I have done and realised that I had been silly in my expectations at the time and it was time to go back to square one.

So, although I am being ambiguous about this whole thing, I will re start afresh and set up my heart on firmer ground.

This is a new grace from God showing me the way when I loose it and am stumbling along.  I am glad to have been given this new opportunity and will thrive to make love work more than usual.

Monday, December 13, 2010

What's been happening with my kids!

I haven't updated much on Greg or my pregnancy so with these few precious quiet moments decided to finally do so.

My big baby is growing suddenly way too quickly!  Since the weekend, he started counting (and I don't mean just saying the numbers but actually count) up till 10.  It surprised me I have to say as he never seemed interested in them at all.  He can also recite the ABC's though he doesn't really match them with the actual letters and he likes help with them.  Also since this weekend, he is identifying the following colours: blue, red, brown, yellow, black & orange.  The amount of words he uses in his phrases is astounding and I must admit I lost complete count of them now.  We are at a stage were anything he eats is plain.  Plain pasta or rice mainly.  On the other hand he has tried and started eating sandwiches with cheese, eggs (in whatever form) & cookies (as long as they are plain white ones).  Enjoys plain milk or with ovaltine and is categorically refusing soups & meat and we still haven't gone back to eating fruits unless its the organix pureed variety!  He simply enjoys being read to or told stories or sung to (especially carols right now!) and plays a lot with trucks & cars but nothing much else.  Another extra we have improved on is the cooking.  Most of the time he enjoys helping me stir and throwing veggies in the pots or doing dough or cutting up veg.  He still loves helping with the cleaning (but this is very mood oriented!) and last but not least he simply adores being outside and preferably in the country or where there is soil, flowers & plants to play with!  What I am not enjoying much is having him see too much TV but I am just too heavy and most of the time got no energy to do things with him.  Besides I can't sit down comfortably or find any good position to stay in and in the end let him watch the blessed DVDs.

Character wise, he is a joy to be with (like with any child really).  However, although exploring his boundaries, I am significantly actively showing him what is acceptable and not- which is tiring in itself haha- and most of the time he accepts that authority and doesn't tantrum much.  His sleeping improved and now sleeps till 5 am most nights.  But a slight change in the nighttime routine disturbs him alot so we keep mostly to our routine.  Next month he will be 2 and although we will also have the new baby, am looking forward to see other improvements.

As for the baby I have now 5 weeks left to wait.  Compared to Greg its already way too big.  And yes I do feel that its bigger and heavier and can't wait to deliver it- I truly believe that having baby outside my body will improve a lot of things in my life right now- baby LOVES moving and does that most of the time.  Its already head down and although aware it can still turn around, I have my doubts it will.  These past two days started feeling it very low down making it more difficult to get up or sit down.  The pain has slightly increased though its still manageable.  Otherwise all is normal in our little world.  I felt for a while that baby will come early into the world and the nearer we get to the festive weeks the stronger the feeling....I wonder if it will truly happen.

Well that's all folks! Wish you all a great week.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

1000 graces from God 28 - 37

28. The smell of baked goodies
29.  Mild weather even though I wish some real cold
30.  Workmen doing quick, efficient work
31.  Smiles every morning
32.  Waking at 5 am instead of 3.30 am
33.  Reading blogs that inspire me in my parenting
34.  Finding patience in waiting
35.  Pain & Giddyness that slow me down
36.  A crib in disorder, where my son enjoys playing :)
37.  TV- even though I've been trying to minimise TV watching at the moment its been a God send whenever I lack the enregy.

What are your graces this week?

Friday, December 3, 2010

Christmasy

It's the 3rd of December, I have 7 weeks left (according to the doctors) to give birth.
 My only complaint which has been ongoing throughout these 8 months now is tiredness and my pelvis hurting and it's still my only real complaint!  However, that ain't keeping me back from celebrating Christmas- the birth of Jesus our Lord!

It is my favourite season - even if here the cold is minimal and coats haven't been brought out yet- the decorations, the baking, the presents and the feast in itself.  In fact my idea is to bring up my son looking at it as a celebration of the Jesus' birth as it should be and not of Santa and presents.  That will just be an extra bonus :)

We have lots of activities planned- visiting cribs, watching caroling and puppet shows, seeing the lights lighting up our capital city at night.  It is all simply wonderful and been dreamy about it for over a month already.  Now that December actually started, I have already my decos, presents etc in place, as well as half the baking done....but the tiredness is a killer, after just mixing the mince filling and putting it in jars I feel awful!  However, with the baby kicking unendingly and wondering if it will ever tire of doing so, I let myself dream of this spectacular Christmas even if I know that normally the higher the expectations the lower the results.

I hope you are all gearing up in your Christmas Spirit and may the real spirit be present to guide you along the way.

Blessings