Monday, May 31, 2010

communcation

I was just meditating, centring my failing energy levels and grounding myself back to earth when at one point my mind wandered on communication.

At one point, I got a bit obsessed about this and was going to drive hubs crazy :) Yesterday, while having a short walk I asked him to tell me what he expected from his role as father, husband and friend......his answer was that first there are too many things to discuss such (like an interview out of the blue LOL) and than most strikingly for me he said that our roles are interchangeable according to the everyday needs and that it is quite useless discussing such an issue. I realised that somehow, unconsciously we were both aware of our roles and about the interchangeability of them and true enough there wasn't much to discuss therefore. Yet it got me to thinking a bit....

See I wrote this blog to interact with people, because I feel a lack of friendship were I can express myself and have honest opinions given back to me. However, I see that this hasn't quite changed my position. Although I have followers on my blog, I don't get a lot of comments. Mostly I get the feeling that who comments for me are doing so as respect for the comments I had previously left them myself. Maybe I got it wrong and maybe not....I cannot quite say. However, I have to say that I met through other blogs people who's way of life or the way they view things helped me become a better person.

So, in a way although my original goal wasn't reached I still found a lot of help indirectly and also directly and I am very happy of this. Yet going back to communication, it does feel a lot of times like I am doing a one man conversation - all alone discussing with myself, sifting through the rubble and dust to see something of which I am not sure!

I see how many changes happened in this past year or to be more exact in these last 4 months or so. I still feel like I am swimming uncontrollably but I feel more in tune with my destination. The pity is that it can be so difficult to communicate what you are feeling to others....maybe coz I feel that most people are more engrossed in their own lives and only ask questions as a must of social ethiquette. Than I am said to be strange coz I am not a social person....I now realise that I am social but really what is the point of being social when we play around small talk, hardly get any better at getting to know our family & friends and any effort done by yourself gets squashed down quite quickly?

So I wait....wait till communication becomes truly important in the people around me. Till we see that there is no point in being afraid of communication and hopefully it will not be too late when that happens and our friendships will flourish! Because at the end of the day I can say all that is in my heart on this blog but what will be the point of it if I don't get to really discuss all that is there with anyone?

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Tv Toddlers

Up till a week or so ago, Greg watched no more than 30 mins TV on a daily basis and normally only 3 times weekly. Now, he wants to watch TV first thing in the morning, later in the moring and even in the afternoon. I admit I am not quite happy with all this TV watching but decided there are other battles which will be more worth fighting than this.

Thing is, we do spend a lot of time outdoors or playing with toys upstairs so I guess watching an hour or two TV daily isn't worth battling over after all everyone goes over a phase of TV watching and it might be better if we get it over now as a toddler :)

What do you think about TV watching?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The circle of life

My eyes are burning, been feeling tired and not quite myself all day .....the weather doesn't help much - grey, coldish wind, but no rain which is what we truly need!

My patience with Greg dwindles to nil at times and other times I manage to keep my centred calm self. Life right now is a roller coaster, I think we have touched a turning point- a point were the long ,nice, calm days are simply put over and we must challenge ourselves again till we find said balance once more.

This is our life, when we feel to be on the right track, something happens to side track us and gives us a new challenge to conquer.

Right now it all seems quite complicated and yet simplified....maybe I am trying too hard and so not getting anywhere or maybe I believe I am trying and in reality am not.....nothing really some quiet meditation won't help to resolve but it will take longer till my centre gets established again for a few weeks.

Monday, May 17, 2010

God's will my submission

Last week I received an email saying that a yoga teacher training course will be held here on our islands. I felt exstatic, a dream come true.....

However, although financially its ok for me to do it so far, other things have come into play which means that till now I will not after all do this course.

I felt quite heartbroken, angry and sad....to say the truth it was like all life force had gone out of me and I could barely function for a few hours. Than I realised that if it is in God's plan for me to do it, things will change round just in time for me to apply. I started praying see and singing to God asking him to take away my pain, to release me and that His will, will be my complete submission and acceptance.

I am now happy, untroubled and back to my normal self. Like in this instance, I feel in awe of myself for managing to solve my own issue in this way...I never used to do so before! I am so glad to have taken God back into my life and letting Him work His wonders on me!

May you all get blessed and enjoy this new week!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Natural Parenting

I used to wonder what I'd do with myself if I ever stopped working and frankly I could never imagine doing so!

Now I can't imagine how I ever worked in that stale environment for 10 years with people I didn't trust and like, with no appreciation, a job that became a bore, a chore, something that I had to not wanted to!

Life at home is sometimes viewed below par because you ain't paid for it. However, I am sure that most of us women would rather be a housewife and full time mum than go to work if at all possible. So far I never encountered any sort of criticism about my choice but than in Malta a lot of us still stop working to care for the children whenever finances allow. So maybe that is why!

Still I do encounter a lot of raised eyebrows or comments or both because I use natural parenting. This concept is quite inexistent in Malta (or at least I am not aware of anyone who encourages it or of others who do it). When Greg was born and I insisted on babywearing I got a lot of negative feedback which left me drained most of the times when out in public. I still get strange looks when I babywear him now at 15 months. Because of my prolonged breastfeeding (I still nurse him on demand) I too get a lot of raised brows and say that I shouldn't or that its not necessary etc etc. Now that my philosophy is to be a gentle disciplinarian or as also known natural parent I get even more strange looks. However, in my 2 week stunt I have seen a big difference. From near to 20 hours of frustration, crying and tantrums for every little thing that happens at home we have gone to near to nil. His appetite is also improving and though this might not be in conjunction to this, I think it is. I am being much more relaxed and so is he. Now all that is left is for me and daddy to remember and be aware more of our actions so that we stop completely any shouting which still happens occassionally and that is my biggest aim!

Natural Parenting is by no means easy. It is actually more difficult than the standard parenting method because you cannot simply sit down and yell at the top of your voice your wishes. You have to be on your toes and think before taking action of anything. To go down to your child's level and to give him the necessary attention. At the end of the day it is at making your childs' progress in this world as easy and wholesome as possible.

To view more on this method of parenting visit Attachment Parenting International, La Leche League & The Parenting Passageway

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Good Manners & children

Normally, we expect our children to say please and thank you etc but don't practice them ourselves. We badger them with good manners but are not fans of it ourselves.



However children laern through imitation, so how can we expect a please and thank you if we don't say them ourselves? I resolved that rather than requesting my son to say them upon my own prompt, to say them myself whenever appropiate and so he will start imitating me himself of his own steam as it should be.



What about you, what are you teaching your child through imitation? is it good or bad?

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Living in awareness

Living in awareness isn't really easy. You have to look at every thing you are doing be it eating, walking, sitting..... why you might ask should I do these things? I have to say I started for my son! Although I already see much more benefits. Because I want to practice gentle discipline, I need to be aware of everything. Think before react! Whenever I loose my awareness I tend to get angry over trivial things or lets say that I'd be angry for something I knew could have been avoided but still he gets the blame! But being in living awareness, you feel the freshness of the wind on your cheeks and smell the smell of Spring. You eat without stuffing yourself and know when you are thirsty, tired or simply relaxed. You are happy because you get to know more yourself, see as if for the first time life around you, enjoy the simple pleasure of seeing an ant!



So see living in constant awareness is giving me so much. However, I have to be diligent, realise and forgive myself whenever I stray and just take it day by day.



May you try living in awareness and brings you as much blessings as it doing to me.

Letter to new mums

Welcome to motherhood!
Its a rollercoaster journey, full of laughter, pain, worry, happiness.....In this year and three months since I became a mother myself, I've gone through so many changes myself as a woman, mother, wife & friend. I can't quite understand anymore how I used to live my life- it seems so dull, lifeless as it was..(though I do miss my lazy Sunday mornings!). And so much more changes from seeing my newborn to a strappy toddler whose joy in discovering life is ever so wonderous.

But now, you are just starting and my advise to you is to relax, enjoy your baby and forget the tornado that will be forming on your house. Don't let pride in the way and ask help if needed. Bond with your little one and keep calm in his presence - remember he can feel what you feel! and get back your energies. Once you settle down, and find your rythm everything will look easier. Last of all enjoy motherhood because getting angry or upset will loose you so much charm of seeing your child growing up.

May your very first mother's day be blessed with all your hearts' desire.

This is Mamakats' writers workshop prompt of the week. For more follow the link.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Random on Saturday

  • I haven't been much around, but all is good! Been doing a lot of research on parenting as well as for mamascircle which I will be changing ever so completely!!


  • Gregory has been changing so much lately....he is suddenly making his wishes more understood with gestures and trying to repeat words at times (though still a while before he talks talks).


  • The sun is already too hot in Malta - I am so ready to go to the beach. Been most of April putting summer clothes already!


          • Been reading this book Going Home by Thich Nhat Hanh - its a spiritual book very well written on how the differences in religion are really just different ways of saying things. It explains them wonderfully and would truly recommend it as a good read!


          • the roof garden is blooming nicely and I am very pleased with my achievements and I also discovered how much I like pottering in my little garden.


          • I am working towards 2 goals-of being a mindful/aware mother and of creating a website full of natural parenting tips and eventually maybe be an LLLI and API local representative....it would be awesome!

          and you what have you been up to?

          Monday, May 31, 2010

          communcation

          I was just meditating, centring my failing energy levels and grounding myself back to earth when at one point my mind wandered on communication.

          At one point, I got a bit obsessed about this and was going to drive hubs crazy :) Yesterday, while having a short walk I asked him to tell me what he expected from his role as father, husband and friend......his answer was that first there are too many things to discuss such (like an interview out of the blue LOL) and than most strikingly for me he said that our roles are interchangeable according to the everyday needs and that it is quite useless discussing such an issue. I realised that somehow, unconsciously we were both aware of our roles and about the interchangeability of them and true enough there wasn't much to discuss therefore. Yet it got me to thinking a bit....

          See I wrote this blog to interact with people, because I feel a lack of friendship were I can express myself and have honest opinions given back to me. However, I see that this hasn't quite changed my position. Although I have followers on my blog, I don't get a lot of comments. Mostly I get the feeling that who comments for me are doing so as respect for the comments I had previously left them myself. Maybe I got it wrong and maybe not....I cannot quite say. However, I have to say that I met through other blogs people who's way of life or the way they view things helped me become a better person.

          So, in a way although my original goal wasn't reached I still found a lot of help indirectly and also directly and I am very happy of this. Yet going back to communication, it does feel a lot of times like I am doing a one man conversation - all alone discussing with myself, sifting through the rubble and dust to see something of which I am not sure!

          I see how many changes happened in this past year or to be more exact in these last 4 months or so. I still feel like I am swimming uncontrollably but I feel more in tune with my destination. The pity is that it can be so difficult to communicate what you are feeling to others....maybe coz I feel that most people are more engrossed in their own lives and only ask questions as a must of social ethiquette. Than I am said to be strange coz I am not a social person....I now realise that I am social but really what is the point of being social when we play around small talk, hardly get any better at getting to know our family & friends and any effort done by yourself gets squashed down quite quickly?

          So I wait....wait till communication becomes truly important in the people around me. Till we see that there is no point in being afraid of communication and hopefully it will not be too late when that happens and our friendships will flourish! Because at the end of the day I can say all that is in my heart on this blog but what will be the point of it if I don't get to really discuss all that is there with anyone?

          Thursday, May 27, 2010

          Tv Toddlers

          Up till a week or so ago, Greg watched no more than 30 mins TV on a daily basis and normally only 3 times weekly. Now, he wants to watch TV first thing in the morning, later in the moring and even in the afternoon. I admit I am not quite happy with all this TV watching but decided there are other battles which will be more worth fighting than this.

          Thing is, we do spend a lot of time outdoors or playing with toys upstairs so I guess watching an hour or two TV daily isn't worth battling over after all everyone goes over a phase of TV watching and it might be better if we get it over now as a toddler :)

          What do you think about TV watching?

          Wednesday, May 19, 2010

          The circle of life

          My eyes are burning, been feeling tired and not quite myself all day .....the weather doesn't help much - grey, coldish wind, but no rain which is what we truly need!

          My patience with Greg dwindles to nil at times and other times I manage to keep my centred calm self. Life right now is a roller coaster, I think we have touched a turning point- a point were the long ,nice, calm days are simply put over and we must challenge ourselves again till we find said balance once more.

          This is our life, when we feel to be on the right track, something happens to side track us and gives us a new challenge to conquer.

          Right now it all seems quite complicated and yet simplified....maybe I am trying too hard and so not getting anywhere or maybe I believe I am trying and in reality am not.....nothing really some quiet meditation won't help to resolve but it will take longer till my centre gets established again for a few weeks.

          Monday, May 17, 2010

          God's will my submission

          Last week I received an email saying that a yoga teacher training course will be held here on our islands. I felt exstatic, a dream come true.....

          However, although financially its ok for me to do it so far, other things have come into play which means that till now I will not after all do this course.

          I felt quite heartbroken, angry and sad....to say the truth it was like all life force had gone out of me and I could barely function for a few hours. Than I realised that if it is in God's plan for me to do it, things will change round just in time for me to apply. I started praying see and singing to God asking him to take away my pain, to release me and that His will, will be my complete submission and acceptance.

          I am now happy, untroubled and back to my normal self. Like in this instance, I feel in awe of myself for managing to solve my own issue in this way...I never used to do so before! I am so glad to have taken God back into my life and letting Him work His wonders on me!

          May you all get blessed and enjoy this new week!

          Tuesday, May 11, 2010

          Natural Parenting

          I used to wonder what I'd do with myself if I ever stopped working and frankly I could never imagine doing so!

          Now I can't imagine how I ever worked in that stale environment for 10 years with people I didn't trust and like, with no appreciation, a job that became a bore, a chore, something that I had to not wanted to!

          Life at home is sometimes viewed below par because you ain't paid for it. However, I am sure that most of us women would rather be a housewife and full time mum than go to work if at all possible. So far I never encountered any sort of criticism about my choice but than in Malta a lot of us still stop working to care for the children whenever finances allow. So maybe that is why!

          Still I do encounter a lot of raised eyebrows or comments or both because I use natural parenting. This concept is quite inexistent in Malta (or at least I am not aware of anyone who encourages it or of others who do it). When Greg was born and I insisted on babywearing I got a lot of negative feedback which left me drained most of the times when out in public. I still get strange looks when I babywear him now at 15 months. Because of my prolonged breastfeeding (I still nurse him on demand) I too get a lot of raised brows and say that I shouldn't or that its not necessary etc etc. Now that my philosophy is to be a gentle disciplinarian or as also known natural parent I get even more strange looks. However, in my 2 week stunt I have seen a big difference. From near to 20 hours of frustration, crying and tantrums for every little thing that happens at home we have gone to near to nil. His appetite is also improving and though this might not be in conjunction to this, I think it is. I am being much more relaxed and so is he. Now all that is left is for me and daddy to remember and be aware more of our actions so that we stop completely any shouting which still happens occassionally and that is my biggest aim!

          Natural Parenting is by no means easy. It is actually more difficult than the standard parenting method because you cannot simply sit down and yell at the top of your voice your wishes. You have to be on your toes and think before taking action of anything. To go down to your child's level and to give him the necessary attention. At the end of the day it is at making your childs' progress in this world as easy and wholesome as possible.

          To view more on this method of parenting visit Attachment Parenting International, La Leche League & The Parenting Passageway

          Thursday, May 6, 2010

          Good Manners & children

          Normally, we expect our children to say please and thank you etc but don't practice them ourselves. We badger them with good manners but are not fans of it ourselves.



          However children laern through imitation, so how can we expect a please and thank you if we don't say them ourselves? I resolved that rather than requesting my son to say them upon my own prompt, to say them myself whenever appropiate and so he will start imitating me himself of his own steam as it should be.



          What about you, what are you teaching your child through imitation? is it good or bad?

          Wednesday, May 5, 2010

          Living in awareness

          Living in awareness isn't really easy. You have to look at every thing you are doing be it eating, walking, sitting..... why you might ask should I do these things? I have to say I started for my son! Although I already see much more benefits. Because I want to practice gentle discipline, I need to be aware of everything. Think before react! Whenever I loose my awareness I tend to get angry over trivial things or lets say that I'd be angry for something I knew could have been avoided but still he gets the blame! But being in living awareness, you feel the freshness of the wind on your cheeks and smell the smell of Spring. You eat without stuffing yourself and know when you are thirsty, tired or simply relaxed. You are happy because you get to know more yourself, see as if for the first time life around you, enjoy the simple pleasure of seeing an ant!



          So see living in constant awareness is giving me so much. However, I have to be diligent, realise and forgive myself whenever I stray and just take it day by day.



          May you try living in awareness and brings you as much blessings as it doing to me.

          Letter to new mums

          Welcome to motherhood!
          Its a rollercoaster journey, full of laughter, pain, worry, happiness.....In this year and three months since I became a mother myself, I've gone through so many changes myself as a woman, mother, wife & friend. I can't quite understand anymore how I used to live my life- it seems so dull, lifeless as it was..(though I do miss my lazy Sunday mornings!). And so much more changes from seeing my newborn to a strappy toddler whose joy in discovering life is ever so wonderous.

          But now, you are just starting and my advise to you is to relax, enjoy your baby and forget the tornado that will be forming on your house. Don't let pride in the way and ask help if needed. Bond with your little one and keep calm in his presence - remember he can feel what you feel! and get back your energies. Once you settle down, and find your rythm everything will look easier. Last of all enjoy motherhood because getting angry or upset will loose you so much charm of seeing your child growing up.

          May your very first mother's day be blessed with all your hearts' desire.

          This is Mamakats' writers workshop prompt of the week. For more follow the link.

          Saturday, May 1, 2010

          Random on Saturday

          • I haven't been much around, but all is good! Been doing a lot of research on parenting as well as for mamascircle which I will be changing ever so completely!!


          • Gregory has been changing so much lately....he is suddenly making his wishes more understood with gestures and trying to repeat words at times (though still a while before he talks talks).


          • The sun is already too hot in Malta - I am so ready to go to the beach. Been most of April putting summer clothes already!


                  • Been reading this book Going Home by Thich Nhat Hanh - its a spiritual book very well written on how the differences in religion are really just different ways of saying things. It explains them wonderfully and would truly recommend it as a good read!


                  • the roof garden is blooming nicely and I am very pleased with my achievements and I also discovered how much I like pottering in my little garden.


                  • I am working towards 2 goals-of being a mindful/aware mother and of creating a website full of natural parenting tips and eventually maybe be an LLLI and API local representative....it would be awesome!

                  and you what have you been up to?