communcation

I was just meditating, centring my failing energy levels and grounding myself back to earth when at one point my mind wandered on communication.

At one point, I got a bit obsessed about this and was going to drive hubs crazy :) Yesterday, while having a short walk I asked him to tell me what he expected from his role as father, husband and friend......his answer was that first there are too many things to discuss such (like an interview out of the blue LOL) and than most strikingly for me he said that our roles are interchangeable according to the everyday needs and that it is quite useless discussing such an issue. I realised that somehow, unconsciously we were both aware of our roles and about the interchangeability of them and true enough there wasn't much to discuss therefore. Yet it got me to thinking a bit....

See I wrote this blog to interact with people, because I feel a lack of friendship were I can express myself and have honest opinions given back to me. However, I see that this hasn't quite changed my position. Although I have followers on my blog, I don't get a lot of comments. Mostly I get the feeling that who comments for me are doing so as respect for the comments I had previously left them myself. Maybe I got it wrong and maybe not....I cannot quite say. However, I have to say that I met through other blogs people who's way of life or the way they view things helped me become a better person.

So, in a way although my original goal wasn't reached I still found a lot of help indirectly and also directly and I am very happy of this. Yet going back to communication, it does feel a lot of times like I am doing a one man conversation - all alone discussing with myself, sifting through the rubble and dust to see something of which I am not sure!

I see how many changes happened in this past year or to be more exact in these last 4 months or so. I still feel like I am swimming uncontrollably but I feel more in tune with my destination. The pity is that it can be so difficult to communicate what you are feeling to others....maybe coz I feel that most people are more engrossed in their own lives and only ask questions as a must of social ethiquette. Than I am said to be strange coz I am not a social person....I now realise that I am social but really what is the point of being social when we play around small talk, hardly get any better at getting to know our family & friends and any effort done by yourself gets squashed down quite quickly?

So I wait....wait till communication becomes truly important in the people around me. Till we see that there is no point in being afraid of communication and hopefully it will not be too late when that happens and our friendships will flourish! Because at the end of the day I can say all that is in my heart on this blog but what will be the point of it if I don't get to really discuss all that is there with anyone?