Saturday, January 25, 2014

Gender indoctrinization

Today I was pissed.

I am fed up of gender related stuff. So if you are blessed with a boy you not only have less choice of things to buy him but things that he would love you do not even find them in a boy version.

Today we went to buy a big bike for Maya. When we bought Greg his, you had a normal bike either with cartoon character or not and that is all (and still is).  But Maya's bike is full of accessories. You get a front basket, you get a back basket as well or a car seat attached for the dolls.  the handles can have glittery papers attached to them and the bell is in the form of a bear.  What the f***!  Oh and they are ALL like this whether they are cartoon character or not.

Obviously, Greg wasn't happy because he loves these things to and neither was I because I know he'd love them.  So I asked if they get them separate and surprise surprise no only for girls they do.  Now I tend to play it down because I know of the human shortcomings but really? and they say that we should (or are ) living in equal rights world.  Are we joking? (Apart for the fact that it can never happen).  If we live in an equal rights world this would never happen!

So you go to buy clothes and you either find blue or black or grey.  Sometimes you get green but really I never really found other colours for boys' clothes.  Girls of course get all shades of pink and purple plus most of the other colours.  You go buy shoes again boys' are black, blue, white all dull.  Girls you get them with flowers, glittery, with hearts and many colours.

Does everyone REALLY think that boys don't like colours? don't like glittery stuff or heart and flowers?

And lets not get started on toys were you get anything house related in pink even though boys LOVE to play with them.  Or you get ads saying specifically that these are boys toys.....because girls do not like to play with cars and trains or dinos?

And than we are amazed how children grow up so racial and judgemental!

Please give me a break there are NO toys that are for girls or boys its just that girls tend to play more home than boys and boys tend to play more with cars (and I believe its anyway to do with our stereotyping).  When boys grow up they will be dads and dads need to know how to safely strap a child onto their bicycle to or clean the house or cook and girls will grow up to drive cars and trains and planes and become palaeontologists.

Any why do I have to feel embarrassed if my son wants to put on some lovely red ballerina pumps? or hair clips in his hair? or a dress or a skirt?  Just because the rest of the world does no think he should do it!  Know that whenever some such happened I fought my own ingrained bad habit of no you are not a girl and let him do so and if it will happen I will do it again!

I might be weird but my son is not.  He is just a kid exploring and experimenting and wanting beautiful stuff just like girls get and it breaks my heart whenever I have to tell him that sorry they do not do them for boys.

Rant over.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

My little Miss Muffin

And as the Christmas magic disappears into thin air, I start thinking of what happens next.

Maya going into kindergarten.

Sincerely, I am looking forward to spending time alone- I really miss being on my own to be able and think, just think uninterruptedly, meditate, just living inside me.

And yet seeing her clinging to me (something I wasn't quite expecting from her), fearful, got me teary eyed.  I just hugged her, told her it will be fine, its just like when she was in class with Greg but instead will have different friends and teacher.  Told her its normal to feel a bit afraid because its kinda new to her but just like when we pick up Greg when school is over, so I will pick her up.  Told her she is ok, she is courageous and while she will miss me terribly, she can go hug her brother when she needs or the heart she has in her bag.

We visited her class and she went to play straight away alone in the kitchen.  Yes she was all the time wanting me near her but by the end of our visit she also spoke to the teacher as if nothing happened and when it was time to leave she said she will stay.  It gave me heart, she will truly be fine, she just needs to remember not to miss me too much that is all!

But being a mother is ultimately a worry job I suppose and so I am suddenly worrying that my little one who is eager to start school will cry and get me crying on her first day.  I fiercely love her.  Love the way she is turning out to be and look eagerly and maybe not so much to the changes school will put her through.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Saying no to yelling and aggressiveness

I dedicated 2014 to love more and yell less.  In fact at home I also put up posters around the house to remind myself.  I started this challenge a few days before Christmas and went 4 days yell free than I succumbed and I can't seem to regain myself and today was my worse day ever to say all the truth.  I am quite sad that today I let aggressiveness take over all my good intentions with the poster seemingly mocking me from up above where it is hung.

Today I also realised I have been trying to change my diet but somehow not doing it albeit all the signs.  And it clicked to me that while we didn't really eat too much during Christmas, we did eat a lot of meat and sugar and THAT is the biggest culprit in my kids seeming over stimulated and me not able to keep my calm.  Maybe just maybe I am bonkers thinking this but I am pretty sure of myself on this!  I look truly forward to go back to our routines come Monday.

Upon reflection, while I will still aim to love more and yell less this year, my intention, my purpose, my dedication should probably be different. Only I need to sit on it a bit more to see if this is so or if I am to stick to my original thinking.


Saturday, January 25, 2014

Gender indoctrinization

Today I was pissed.

I am fed up of gender related stuff. So if you are blessed with a boy you not only have less choice of things to buy him but things that he would love you do not even find them in a boy version.

Today we went to buy a big bike for Maya. When we bought Greg his, you had a normal bike either with cartoon character or not and that is all (and still is).  But Maya's bike is full of accessories. You get a front basket, you get a back basket as well or a car seat attached for the dolls.  the handles can have glittery papers attached to them and the bell is in the form of a bear.  What the f***!  Oh and they are ALL like this whether they are cartoon character or not.

Obviously, Greg wasn't happy because he loves these things to and neither was I because I know he'd love them.  So I asked if they get them separate and surprise surprise no only for girls they do.  Now I tend to play it down because I know of the human shortcomings but really? and they say that we should (or are ) living in equal rights world.  Are we joking? (Apart for the fact that it can never happen).  If we live in an equal rights world this would never happen!

So you go to buy clothes and you either find blue or black or grey.  Sometimes you get green but really I never really found other colours for boys' clothes.  Girls of course get all shades of pink and purple plus most of the other colours.  You go buy shoes again boys' are black, blue, white all dull.  Girls you get them with flowers, glittery, with hearts and many colours.

Does everyone REALLY think that boys don't like colours? don't like glittery stuff or heart and flowers?

And lets not get started on toys were you get anything house related in pink even though boys LOVE to play with them.  Or you get ads saying specifically that these are boys toys.....because girls do not like to play with cars and trains or dinos?

And than we are amazed how children grow up so racial and judgemental!

Please give me a break there are NO toys that are for girls or boys its just that girls tend to play more home than boys and boys tend to play more with cars (and I believe its anyway to do with our stereotyping).  When boys grow up they will be dads and dads need to know how to safely strap a child onto their bicycle to or clean the house or cook and girls will grow up to drive cars and trains and planes and become palaeontologists.

Any why do I have to feel embarrassed if my son wants to put on some lovely red ballerina pumps? or hair clips in his hair? or a dress or a skirt?  Just because the rest of the world does no think he should do it!  Know that whenever some such happened I fought my own ingrained bad habit of no you are not a girl and let him do so and if it will happen I will do it again!

I might be weird but my son is not.  He is just a kid exploring and experimenting and wanting beautiful stuff just like girls get and it breaks my heart whenever I have to tell him that sorry they do not do them for boys.

Rant over.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

My little Miss Muffin

And as the Christmas magic disappears into thin air, I start thinking of what happens next.

Maya going into kindergarten.

Sincerely, I am looking forward to spending time alone- I really miss being on my own to be able and think, just think uninterruptedly, meditate, just living inside me.

And yet seeing her clinging to me (something I wasn't quite expecting from her), fearful, got me teary eyed.  I just hugged her, told her it will be fine, its just like when she was in class with Greg but instead will have different friends and teacher.  Told her its normal to feel a bit afraid because its kinda new to her but just like when we pick up Greg when school is over, so I will pick her up.  Told her she is ok, she is courageous and while she will miss me terribly, she can go hug her brother when she needs or the heart she has in her bag.

We visited her class and she went to play straight away alone in the kitchen.  Yes she was all the time wanting me near her but by the end of our visit she also spoke to the teacher as if nothing happened and when it was time to leave she said she will stay.  It gave me heart, she will truly be fine, she just needs to remember not to miss me too much that is all!

But being a mother is ultimately a worry job I suppose and so I am suddenly worrying that my little one who is eager to start school will cry and get me crying on her first day.  I fiercely love her.  Love the way she is turning out to be and look eagerly and maybe not so much to the changes school will put her through.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Saying no to yelling and aggressiveness

I dedicated 2014 to love more and yell less.  In fact at home I also put up posters around the house to remind myself.  I started this challenge a few days before Christmas and went 4 days yell free than I succumbed and I can't seem to regain myself and today was my worse day ever to say all the truth.  I am quite sad that today I let aggressiveness take over all my good intentions with the poster seemingly mocking me from up above where it is hung.

Today I also realised I have been trying to change my diet but somehow not doing it albeit all the signs.  And it clicked to me that while we didn't really eat too much during Christmas, we did eat a lot of meat and sugar and THAT is the biggest culprit in my kids seeming over stimulated and me not able to keep my calm.  Maybe just maybe I am bonkers thinking this but I am pretty sure of myself on this!  I look truly forward to go back to our routines come Monday.

Upon reflection, while I will still aim to love more and yell less this year, my intention, my purpose, my dedication should probably be different. Only I need to sit on it a bit more to see if this is so or if I am to stick to my original thinking.