Spring

I wish to write but my thoughts jam up.

The road has been quite winding recently that I lost sight of a lot of things.

So I have been tired and cranky and it wasn't just having 2 kids at home while on Easter holidays (though that didn't help).

I forgot to still my mind for the past month and a half.  I didn't make time for God.  I don't even know what I did really- it's more like nothing and here I am today suddenly realising that I lost my track. 

My mind skips from plans for next week, to Summer, to Autumn and Winter coming.  Gosh!

And today it is raining again.  Spring has come nice and sweet and yet Wintery moments persist.  I see this as a way to show me that I need to go back to my Winter schedule.  I need to rest but my mind is too occupied, I try to still it but it simply won't listen.  I worry, I get angry.....

I remember my New Year's words- trust and surrender. 

So I sit here and while writing feel like a big clog has been taken away.  I am lighter and happier.  Still worried but my mind quieter.  I am going back to my path, to seek the face of God, to enjoy motherhood and be confident of being me.

Trust and Surrender- powerful words I was afraid to use and now I seek them more and more.