Wednesday, May 18, 2011

a window in discipline

I have this window increasingly open lately.

Where I am either seeing myself doing what I do not wish to be doing and yet incapable of stopping myself or else being able to look at myself and my children and be able to discern how grave the situation is before I react and so setting us all free from any unwanted grief.

The awareness of it makes me giddy.  Because when the first happens I am able to see over and over where my trigger is that makes me loose control of my emotions.  Finding a way to explain it simply to my son (that is to excuse my impulsiveness and loss of control) is still difficult but I do try!  Yet I can forgive myself rather than feel excessive guilt about it.  God has made me imprefect and loves me so and so how can I not forgive my own imperfections and giving Him praise for making me glare at them straight in the face and providing me with ways to eventually perfect my own emotional control?

And when the latter happens, I praise God even more for helping in providing us with this golden moment of clarity that gives us so much joy.

It takes practice and a lot of reminding to stay aware and focused on any situation...in every second of your day, to look at it with perspective.  Its not easy but it gets easier everyday and when I get these moments I realise that I am getting closer to my objective and can provide my children with a wholesome start in life.
Parenting is so much more than just telling your child what he should and shouldn't do.  The complexity I discovered is so big that frankly I can't explain it.  At every given moment you have to look at what the child is thinking and then react accordingly and not look at it from your own perspective which is completely distorted.  We have to be careful because everything we do is being imprinted on our little ones either good or bad.....and above all this, while loving them unconditionally, we must remember that these little gifts are only given to us to help them grow and spread their wings and that we are not their owners.  We can't keep them, we must find it within us to help them grow, be near and yet far away.

Our children are a treasure which we must give away.  A treasure we have to take deep care of.

No comments:

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

a window in discipline

I have this window increasingly open lately.

Where I am either seeing myself doing what I do not wish to be doing and yet incapable of stopping myself or else being able to look at myself and my children and be able to discern how grave the situation is before I react and so setting us all free from any unwanted grief.

The awareness of it makes me giddy.  Because when the first happens I am able to see over and over where my trigger is that makes me loose control of my emotions.  Finding a way to explain it simply to my son (that is to excuse my impulsiveness and loss of control) is still difficult but I do try!  Yet I can forgive myself rather than feel excessive guilt about it.  God has made me imprefect and loves me so and so how can I not forgive my own imperfections and giving Him praise for making me glare at them straight in the face and providing me with ways to eventually perfect my own emotional control?

And when the latter happens, I praise God even more for helping in providing us with this golden moment of clarity that gives us so much joy.

It takes practice and a lot of reminding to stay aware and focused on any situation...in every second of your day, to look at it with perspective.  Its not easy but it gets easier everyday and when I get these moments I realise that I am getting closer to my objective and can provide my children with a wholesome start in life.
Parenting is so much more than just telling your child what he should and shouldn't do.  The complexity I discovered is so big that frankly I can't explain it.  At every given moment you have to look at what the child is thinking and then react accordingly and not look at it from your own perspective which is completely distorted.  We have to be careful because everything we do is being imprinted on our little ones either good or bad.....and above all this, while loving them unconditionally, we must remember that these little gifts are only given to us to help them grow and spread their wings and that we are not their owners.  We can't keep them, we must find it within us to help them grow, be near and yet far away.

Our children are a treasure which we must give away.  A treasure we have to take deep care of.

No comments: