Monday, October 4, 2010

my son is a person with his own traits

See today started off bad and degenerated later on  and was finally saved.  However I simply am exhausted and tensed and can't wait for actual bed time so I can do some yoga and unwind.

The main problem was last night with an alarm going off for 4 hours and NO ONE switching it off before 6 am!!  By this time both me and Greg had exhausted our will to try and sleep again and were both in a bad mood.  So I kinda knew how the day will play out.

I actually tried to be thankful that we are alive and healthy and had food and clothes etc to make me feel better and more calm.  BUT (of course there is one!)  Gregory didn't share my effort to feel better and happy and so due to lack of  sleep, some teething pain and general bad mood we proceeded from playing quietly to a full blown tantrum.  I silly cow that I am let my anger take over and manhandled him :( which straight away made me feel guilty and bad but at least made me slow down and take a hold of my emotions.

In the end although he was still prone to sudden outbursts, he calmed down enough to eat, nap, watch TV and play.  To smile and run and just be!  This however, made me look at Gregory in a different way.  Actually I was simply skimming this surface when I read a very resonating post at a fellow blogger which made me decide to share this with you as well.

Our children are persons just like us.  Yeah we do tend to forget it just because they are young and we the know it all.  We at times believe that if we are not in a bad mood, they can't be either or else if they are we can make it better.  If they do not oblige us we get angry and make it worse.

But children do have their bad days just like us and as we wouldn't appreciate someone telling us to get over it and smile, neither do our children.  At the same time, it is important that we let them express these feelings for no other reason than to learn about all the different feelings. how to handle them and so on.  When my mind clicked that anger will bring us no where and hugging etc neither because he refused them, I had to think of something else.  It was simple really, I just talked in a gentle way saying that it was ok to be angry and sad, that these moments pass.  Eventually he let me rock him and pat him and soon after calmed down enough to be picked up, hugged, kissed and continue with our day.  It took a long while and a lot of nonsense talking together with the reassurances but we did get there.  His mood improved but was still lets say trigger happy.

This experience and that blog post, made me see more clearly how present I must be.  Gregory can't yet tell me all he feels inside him.  Frustration is an all time high.  He is also his own person and not only I can't control his feelings but its important to acknowledge them and accept them.  No feelings anyone has are bad or good.  It is the way we express them that can be unacceptable socially.  So we are obliged to show them that no matter how they feel, we love them.  That what they are feeling is good.  But show them gently how it is best to control our feelings so they won't get out of hand.  And what better way to do that than us keeping track of our own feelings?

5 comments:

Zeemaid said...

Well said. It's too easy to get caught up in their emotions and get impatient with them for it when really they're not doing it just to tick us off. Far from it. I'm sure they don't like being in a bad mood anymore than we do.

Mandi Miller said...

Great thoughts! It is easy to forget with children that young!

Stopping by from the Bessie group!

Alana, Author of Domestically Challenged said...

Isn't it nice when we make realizations as parents that make our lives easier? Sounds like you are on the right path. Hang in there! :)

Lynsey said...

This is definitely something I need to remember as well. It's so hard sometimes.

Heidi said...

I agree, it IS hard to remember that our little ones are people too sometimes. Good thoughts and reflections about modeling the type of behaviour you want to see as well. Toddlerhood sure is an exhausting season, but if you put in the intentional work, your bound to reap the rewards of a delightful child. :)

Monday, October 4, 2010

my son is a person with his own traits

See today started off bad and degenerated later on  and was finally saved.  However I simply am exhausted and tensed and can't wait for actual bed time so I can do some yoga and unwind.

The main problem was last night with an alarm going off for 4 hours and NO ONE switching it off before 6 am!!  By this time both me and Greg had exhausted our will to try and sleep again and were both in a bad mood.  So I kinda knew how the day will play out.

I actually tried to be thankful that we are alive and healthy and had food and clothes etc to make me feel better and more calm.  BUT (of course there is one!)  Gregory didn't share my effort to feel better and happy and so due to lack of  sleep, some teething pain and general bad mood we proceeded from playing quietly to a full blown tantrum.  I silly cow that I am let my anger take over and manhandled him :( which straight away made me feel guilty and bad but at least made me slow down and take a hold of my emotions.

In the end although he was still prone to sudden outbursts, he calmed down enough to eat, nap, watch TV and play.  To smile and run and just be!  This however, made me look at Gregory in a different way.  Actually I was simply skimming this surface when I read a very resonating post at a fellow blogger which made me decide to share this with you as well.

Our children are persons just like us.  Yeah we do tend to forget it just because they are young and we the know it all.  We at times believe that if we are not in a bad mood, they can't be either or else if they are we can make it better.  If they do not oblige us we get angry and make it worse.

But children do have their bad days just like us and as we wouldn't appreciate someone telling us to get over it and smile, neither do our children.  At the same time, it is important that we let them express these feelings for no other reason than to learn about all the different feelings. how to handle them and so on.  When my mind clicked that anger will bring us no where and hugging etc neither because he refused them, I had to think of something else.  It was simple really, I just talked in a gentle way saying that it was ok to be angry and sad, that these moments pass.  Eventually he let me rock him and pat him and soon after calmed down enough to be picked up, hugged, kissed and continue with our day.  It took a long while and a lot of nonsense talking together with the reassurances but we did get there.  His mood improved but was still lets say trigger happy.

This experience and that blog post, made me see more clearly how present I must be.  Gregory can't yet tell me all he feels inside him.  Frustration is an all time high.  He is also his own person and not only I can't control his feelings but its important to acknowledge them and accept them.  No feelings anyone has are bad or good.  It is the way we express them that can be unacceptable socially.  So we are obliged to show them that no matter how they feel, we love them.  That what they are feeling is good.  But show them gently how it is best to control our feelings so they won't get out of hand.  And what better way to do that than us keeping track of our own feelings?

5 comments:

Zeemaid said...

Well said. It's too easy to get caught up in their emotions and get impatient with them for it when really they're not doing it just to tick us off. Far from it. I'm sure they don't like being in a bad mood anymore than we do.

Mandi Miller said...

Great thoughts! It is easy to forget with children that young!

Stopping by from the Bessie group!

Alana, Author of Domestically Challenged said...

Isn't it nice when we make realizations as parents that make our lives easier? Sounds like you are on the right path. Hang in there! :)

Lynsey said...

This is definitely something I need to remember as well. It's so hard sometimes.

Heidi said...

I agree, it IS hard to remember that our little ones are people too sometimes. Good thoughts and reflections about modeling the type of behaviour you want to see as well. Toddlerhood sure is an exhausting season, but if you put in the intentional work, your bound to reap the rewards of a delightful child. :)