Tuesday, September 28, 2010

today

Today I reached a corner stone in life.  Because today was my last day volunteering at the Island Sanctuary.  I thought of work and volunteering and what I learnt.

Before Gregory was born I worked for 10 years at the same tourism company.  I liked the boss I had and the pay was good besides work was what I had studied for.  By the time Gregory was born, I had been thinking of quitting for a while- I had reached my limits for tourism, work had started to go somewhat downhill and now I know that deep down I wished some better relationships at work!

The people who worked with me taught me all the things I used to abore and that undermined my resolution, determination, commitment, love & confidence.  They liked to gossip on people and I found myself joining in- I admit I am very happy to have got rid of that excess baggage!  They lived for what people thought, appearances, social status and made me hunger for things I never wanted, which left me depleted, out of synch and now I know that deep down I fought myself about it.  I am not completely cleansed of this but I see a complete different me, the me I used to know and I am much more happier this way.  I see how these 10 years have effected me and how in just one year I managed to get nearly in control of the real me once again.

At the volunteering on the other hand, I met a lot of dedicated people full of love and compassion.  Who didn't ask about your background and only expected you to work as hard as they did for the good of the dogs there.  It helped me a lot to let go of all the superficial stuff I wanted.  I loved volunteering and admittedly it took a lot of commitment and love to go there week after week.  Because lets face it sometimes you just wish to stay home and do nothing or are having a bad day but whatever the reason, I would think of those people who not only go once weekly but everyday and do their best to keep the strays happy and eventually find them a loving home.

I look at both those worlds.  I think of both those worlds.

I do not regret my decisions.  I realise that to find myself I had to go through this period of life.  Now I've reached a corner stone.  A chapter I can close for good and another I will close for the time being.  In the meantime, I will teach my growing son about the good and bad and in betweens of life.  Life is not black or white it is full of colours and shades and only our perceptions decide how we look at them.

3 comments:

Amity said...

I am with you in all your thoughts here, esp those words when you say that volunteering is the best because it will take one lot of commitment and love to be able to do so...

and yes Melissa, I wonder why the workplace has become a place for gossips, etc?

yes, I also most often times want to be a fulltime homemaker and even getting up every morning to get ready for office is always a challenge, a struggle...

at times i'd tell hubby i want to quit work..but he'd tell me, my life would become dull if i i'd prefer to be a stay home Mom...my kids are all grown up anyway, all teenagers, two in college n the youngest will be graduating in highschool by March 2010, so i will be left alone when kids will all go to the city to study...

you reminded me of some hard truths in life Melissa, thanks for sharing...

when will your second baby be due? take care always and hugs to your son.. :)

Dawn said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog...

Remember that we are always at a place in time for a reason... that reason may not become clear to us until later, but it will.

gaelikaa said...

Hi Melissa. I'm from Dublin. One of my aunts married a man from Malta and some of my relatives have visited there. My impressions of the people and that country are very good. Otherwise, all I know is that St. Paul was shipwrecked there.

It was a pleasure to visit your blog. Dropped in from SITS!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

today

Today I reached a corner stone in life.  Because today was my last day volunteering at the Island Sanctuary.  I thought of work and volunteering and what I learnt.

Before Gregory was born I worked for 10 years at the same tourism company.  I liked the boss I had and the pay was good besides work was what I had studied for.  By the time Gregory was born, I had been thinking of quitting for a while- I had reached my limits for tourism, work had started to go somewhat downhill and now I know that deep down I wished some better relationships at work!

The people who worked with me taught me all the things I used to abore and that undermined my resolution, determination, commitment, love & confidence.  They liked to gossip on people and I found myself joining in- I admit I am very happy to have got rid of that excess baggage!  They lived for what people thought, appearances, social status and made me hunger for things I never wanted, which left me depleted, out of synch and now I know that deep down I fought myself about it.  I am not completely cleansed of this but I see a complete different me, the me I used to know and I am much more happier this way.  I see how these 10 years have effected me and how in just one year I managed to get nearly in control of the real me once again.

At the volunteering on the other hand, I met a lot of dedicated people full of love and compassion.  Who didn't ask about your background and only expected you to work as hard as they did for the good of the dogs there.  It helped me a lot to let go of all the superficial stuff I wanted.  I loved volunteering and admittedly it took a lot of commitment and love to go there week after week.  Because lets face it sometimes you just wish to stay home and do nothing or are having a bad day but whatever the reason, I would think of those people who not only go once weekly but everyday and do their best to keep the strays happy and eventually find them a loving home.

I look at both those worlds.  I think of both those worlds.

I do not regret my decisions.  I realise that to find myself I had to go through this period of life.  Now I've reached a corner stone.  A chapter I can close for good and another I will close for the time being.  In the meantime, I will teach my growing son about the good and bad and in betweens of life.  Life is not black or white it is full of colours and shades and only our perceptions decide how we look at them.

3 comments:

Amity said...

I am with you in all your thoughts here, esp those words when you say that volunteering is the best because it will take one lot of commitment and love to be able to do so...

and yes Melissa, I wonder why the workplace has become a place for gossips, etc?

yes, I also most often times want to be a fulltime homemaker and even getting up every morning to get ready for office is always a challenge, a struggle...

at times i'd tell hubby i want to quit work..but he'd tell me, my life would become dull if i i'd prefer to be a stay home Mom...my kids are all grown up anyway, all teenagers, two in college n the youngest will be graduating in highschool by March 2010, so i will be left alone when kids will all go to the city to study...

you reminded me of some hard truths in life Melissa, thanks for sharing...

when will your second baby be due? take care always and hugs to your son.. :)

Dawn said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog...

Remember that we are always at a place in time for a reason... that reason may not become clear to us until later, but it will.

gaelikaa said...

Hi Melissa. I'm from Dublin. One of my aunts married a man from Malta and some of my relatives have visited there. My impressions of the people and that country are very good. Otherwise, all I know is that St. Paul was shipwrecked there.

It was a pleasure to visit your blog. Dropped in from SITS!