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Wednesday, June 9, 2010

It's official....

....baby no 2 is on his way and after the initial elation of knowing I will soon have a second child to nurture and love, pregnancy depression made itself visible once more!

I feel bad really that I do not enjoy the pregnancy process like so many other women or like so many women wish to go through. But pregnancy looses my balance somewhat......

Anger and frustration are quite manifest as control over my body disappears into nothing. Self confidence is dropping near zero as my body is starting to slowly round up (even if not quite visible yet). The many other little health issues like heartburn, occassional nausea and lots of headaches are taking a toll on me.Thankfully so far the million of spots that erupted on my face in the last pregnancy haven't manifested and hopefully it will remain so.

And no matter how I try to rationalise it, breathe, relax, feel thankful for my receptive body......I am in a meltdown. So, although I will keep you updated and hopefully with more cheerful days, you will surely not find any belly photos and won't hear of the proud bump.....maybe I can somehow sleep till its time to give birth- sigh-

Can you suggest anything so that I release my anger and frustration and boost my self confidence once more?

8 comments:

Marie said...

Congratulations! I hope it's at least an easy pregnancy!

Roxane said...

Congrats! I'm so happy for you. I've never been pregnant but I can suggest keeping up with your yoga practice. Put everything in perspective. 40 weeks, you can do this :)

Amity said...

Hi Melissa,

I missed you for quite a long time..

and what a surprise, you are infanticipating? ohhh...i envy you...:(

but i am so happy for you, however on the other side, i am sad with all the the morning sickness, the frustration and anger you are feeling right now...it happens Melissa, cheer up dear, it's part of having a baby...:)

I envy you, I wish I could have another one..:)

Take care always...and with Greg, too!

Heidi of Operation Organization said...

Congratulations! So sorry to hear of your challenging pregnancies - that's so hard, but at least it's a temporary condition and you are aware of it and know the source so you don't have to fear you're loosing your marbles!! :)

I was SOOO sick with both my boys - had to be medicated so I could gain wt or I would be sick all day and even sometimes through the night. I suffered with PPD with my 2nd - so much that our bodies and minds go through as mama's for our kiddos, huh?

Alicia said...

congrats to you lady!! i'm so sorry to hear about the difficulties you face during pregnancy...i hope that this time around will be a little better for you. just remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

Melissa aka Equidae said...

thank you all for the encouragement..things are getting better

Christine said...

Hi Mel, CONGRATS I'm so happy for you. unforntunately that how things work- you have to suffer to get end results. but always keep Greg's smile in front of you and remind your self that it's all worth it. WOW congrats again, send our regards to David and big kiss to Greg XXX cu soon

Magaly Guerrero said...

Congrats my love, even if the process is hell. I don't have any encouraging sweet nothings, for as you know, I haven't been that lucky yet. But at least now you know the real glory of the end process and maybe that will console you and make the process more bearable.

*Pouting because I won't see any proud bump pics ;-(*

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

It's official....

....baby no 2 is on his way and after the initial elation of knowing I will soon have a second child to nurture and love, pregnancy depression made itself visible once more!

I feel bad really that I do not enjoy the pregnancy process like so many other women or like so many women wish to go through. But pregnancy looses my balance somewhat......

Anger and frustration are quite manifest as control over my body disappears into nothing. Self confidence is dropping near zero as my body is starting to slowly round up (even if not quite visible yet). The many other little health issues like heartburn, occassional nausea and lots of headaches are taking a toll on me.Thankfully so far the million of spots that erupted on my face in the last pregnancy haven't manifested and hopefully it will remain so.

And no matter how I try to rationalise it, breathe, relax, feel thankful for my receptive body......I am in a meltdown. So, although I will keep you updated and hopefully with more cheerful days, you will surely not find any belly photos and won't hear of the proud bump.....maybe I can somehow sleep till its time to give birth- sigh-

Can you suggest anything so that I release my anger and frustration and boost my self confidence once more?

8 comments:

Marie said...

Congratulations! I hope it's at least an easy pregnancy!

Roxane said...

Congrats! I'm so happy for you. I've never been pregnant but I can suggest keeping up with your yoga practice. Put everything in perspective. 40 weeks, you can do this :)

Amity said...

Hi Melissa,

I missed you for quite a long time..

and what a surprise, you are infanticipating? ohhh...i envy you...:(

but i am so happy for you, however on the other side, i am sad with all the the morning sickness, the frustration and anger you are feeling right now...it happens Melissa, cheer up dear, it's part of having a baby...:)

I envy you, I wish I could have another one..:)

Take care always...and with Greg, too!

Heidi of Operation Organization said...

Congratulations! So sorry to hear of your challenging pregnancies - that's so hard, but at least it's a temporary condition and you are aware of it and know the source so you don't have to fear you're loosing your marbles!! :)

I was SOOO sick with both my boys - had to be medicated so I could gain wt or I would be sick all day and even sometimes through the night. I suffered with PPD with my 2nd - so much that our bodies and minds go through as mama's for our kiddos, huh?

Alicia said...

congrats to you lady!! i'm so sorry to hear about the difficulties you face during pregnancy...i hope that this time around will be a little better for you. just remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

Melissa aka Equidae said...

thank you all for the encouragement..things are getting better

Christine said...

Hi Mel, CONGRATS I'm so happy for you. unforntunately that how things work- you have to suffer to get end results. but always keep Greg's smile in front of you and remind your self that it's all worth it. WOW congrats again, send our regards to David and big kiss to Greg XXX cu soon

Magaly Guerrero said...

Congrats my love, even if the process is hell. I don't have any encouraging sweet nothings, for as you know, I haven't been that lucky yet. But at least now you know the real glory of the end process and maybe that will console you and make the process more bearable.

*Pouting because I won't see any proud bump pics ;-(*