Conversations and thoughts

Its mind blowing when I think my boy- my first new born- has turned 3 and next Wednesday is starting preschool or as it is locally known kindergarten.

It is actually time for me to let go of his hand and for him to fledge.  I know we are both ready for this change.  I know we are both looking forward to it.  But I am also very painfully aware that this transition is going to be a bit tough and we are both scared stiff.

For this last week he started wetting the bed again even during nap time.  I soon realised that its all stress related.  In that little mind of his, he is making the connections and realising that school is suddenly round the corner.  He is petrified at the idea of me not being there with him.

Today while going to school for a brief meeting and seeing once more his teacher and so on he hugged me close (no walking) and this conversation followed.

I don't want to go to school alone
Are you afraid?
Yes
You'd like to go to school but want me with you?
Yes
You know even I am scared.  Its something new and we will be apart from each other but just like I come back for you when at grandma I will at school.
But I don't want to go alone
Listen, you will try it out for 3 days ok and another 5 days.  If you are still not happy you can stop going and try again next year. 
OK

Believe me I simply do not know how I will manage not to cry on Wednesday morning in front of him.  This morning during that conversation, I fought more tears than I ever did before.  However once inside his classroom he was quite happy to mix with the kids and play with them (at the time building blocks).  He did come for help whenever something didn't go according to his way and I tried to let the teacher guide him by telling him that here it is Ms Joanne whom he has to ask for help mummy is just looking- didn't work much I admit but still....

And yes if after a week he does insist on not wanting to go to school I will not make him go.  After all this is pre-school and next year is a brand new day :)

3 candles for Gregory

He might be 3 years today but he is still a young little man.

He has changed so much really and yet affirmed his character much more.

playing with his tea set

He talks pretty fluently, he shares when he feels like, he plays with his sister when he's in the mood, he can eat like a champ or refuse anything you do (except breastmilk ha! he never says no to that still and although there many a time where I feel fed up of nursing two kids, there are also many moments where I remember that this is lasting a while longer while the love and trust I am building will last a lifetime).

He's got such a will, that trying to teach him while not crushing it is extremely difficult.

But that big open smile, his wonder at nature and enjoyment of life, make up for those moments that result in unconsolable crying that make up his life right now.  The moments where he is not sure what he is feeling or how to express it.  The moments of tiredness he refuses to acknowledge.  The moments of hunger he refuses to quench.  The moments of attention he refuses to wait for.

He is a bundle of storm in the middle of sunshine his sister amenates.

He might sound difficult to many but really he is quite easy.

Happy 3rd birthday Gregory!

One year today

She is one today!

A toddler- no more a baby!

She walks, talks, climbs and tries to run.

She is full of expressions and love and smiles.

I wonder where time has gone....

You've grown so quickly that I hardly ever think you were a baby.

Love you loads Maya Abigail!



Counting more blessings

I am still slowly counting the many blessings God has given me and waiting to be revealed that hidden grace!

180. Enjoying opening presents
181. Knowing how to use a knife
182. Poorly days in front of the TV
183. The slow progress in my life
184. Washing machines
185. Good weather to dry the clothes
186. Rainy days because we need them
187. Hiking with our son
188. The ability to buy what we need
189. Living next door to family
190. Eagerly waiting to see my cousin

The year 2012

It hasn't started the way I planned it.

Of course whatever we plan is subject to change according to God's will.  And sometimes its just our own lack of will.

Surrender and Trust!

I wonder how many times I will repeat that till I eventually let go and let my will do what it should be doing.

That said I feel that the break I have been seeking is near.  I look forward to embrace this chance in all its forms.

I have decided to trust and surrender this time without doubts.  To open up and let my heart be filled with the beautiful melody of life!