Is probably the most difficult thing we have to go through as mothers. Because boys have been for centuries led to believe they should be tough etc.
So when my 3 year old cries I am admonished for reaching out to him because he should toughen up. If he comes for comfort I am cuddling him too much and will not be a man. If he sees all the beautiful sparkly stuff we girls have I am told he shouldn't be allowed to try them or he'll turn out gay. And the list goes on.
Its a constant battle of me vs the rest of the world including my own family.
It is sometimes a battle against myself because I was brought up in this type of world and when he asks to put on the red ballerina pumps or the hair pins it does push my comfort zone and yet I can't tell him no. I can't shame him into believing it is either black or white and how can i blame him for wanting to try the girl stuff when boy stuff is so bland and boring?
Yesterday Maya wanted me to paint her toes like I do and he got interested and wanted his too. I know men do paint their nails nowadays but it felt girlish and I wasn't very comfy and I knew I would receive an assault of what you dids etc which of course undermined my confidence. In the end we agreed on just 2 nails. He was happy to try it out and I was happy not to have told him a plain no- although I did say that it's mainly girls that paint their nails!
It is frustrating trying balancing things out.
Many a time I am confused on how to deal with such a situation because of how I am made to feel by others. It shouldn't be and while I try to ignore it, it is very difficult to carry on especially when you lack lots of support.
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Saturday, July 14, 2012
Raising a son
Is probably the most difficult thing we have to go through as mothers. Because boys have been for centuries led to believe they should be tough etc.
So when my 3 year old cries I am admonished for reaching out to him because he should toughen up. If he comes for comfort I am cuddling him too much and will not be a man. If he sees all the beautiful sparkly stuff we girls have I am told he shouldn't be allowed to try them or he'll turn out gay. And the list goes on.
Its a constant battle of me vs the rest of the world including my own family.
It is sometimes a battle against myself because I was brought up in this type of world and when he asks to put on the red ballerina pumps or the hair pins it does push my comfort zone and yet I can't tell him no. I can't shame him into believing it is either black or white and how can i blame him for wanting to try the girl stuff when boy stuff is so bland and boring?
Yesterday Maya wanted me to paint her toes like I do and he got interested and wanted his too. I know men do paint their nails nowadays but it felt girlish and I wasn't very comfy and I knew I would receive an assault of what you dids etc which of course undermined my confidence. In the end we agreed on just 2 nails. He was happy to try it out and I was happy not to have told him a plain no- although I did say that it's mainly girls that paint their nails!
It is frustrating trying balancing things out.
Many a time I am confused on how to deal with such a situation because of how I am made to feel by others. It shouldn't be and while I try to ignore it, it is very difficult to carry on especially when you lack lots of support.
So when my 3 year old cries I am admonished for reaching out to him because he should toughen up. If he comes for comfort I am cuddling him too much and will not be a man. If he sees all the beautiful sparkly stuff we girls have I am told he shouldn't be allowed to try them or he'll turn out gay. And the list goes on.
Its a constant battle of me vs the rest of the world including my own family.
It is sometimes a battle against myself because I was brought up in this type of world and when he asks to put on the red ballerina pumps or the hair pins it does push my comfort zone and yet I can't tell him no. I can't shame him into believing it is either black or white and how can i blame him for wanting to try the girl stuff when boy stuff is so bland and boring?
Yesterday Maya wanted me to paint her toes like I do and he got interested and wanted his too. I know men do paint their nails nowadays but it felt girlish and I wasn't very comfy and I knew I would receive an assault of what you dids etc which of course undermined my confidence. In the end we agreed on just 2 nails. He was happy to try it out and I was happy not to have told him a plain no- although I did say that it's mainly girls that paint their nails!
It is frustrating trying balancing things out.
Many a time I am confused on how to deal with such a situation because of how I am made to feel by others. It shouldn't be and while I try to ignore it, it is very difficult to carry on especially when you lack lots of support.
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