Conversations and thoughts

Its mind blowing when I think my boy- my first new born- has turned 3 and next Wednesday is starting preschool or as it is locally known kindergarten.

It is actually time for me to let go of his hand and for him to fledge.  I know we are both ready for this change.  I know we are both looking forward to it.  But I am also very painfully aware that this transition is going to be a bit tough and we are both scared stiff.

For this last week he started wetting the bed again even during nap time.  I soon realised that its all stress related.  In that little mind of his, he is making the connections and realising that school is suddenly round the corner.  He is petrified at the idea of me not being there with him.

Today while going to school for a brief meeting and seeing once more his teacher and so on he hugged me close (no walking) and this conversation followed.

I don't want to go to school alone
Are you afraid?
Yes
You'd like to go to school but want me with you?
Yes
You know even I am scared.  Its something new and we will be apart from each other but just like I come back for you when at grandma I will at school.
But I don't want to go alone
Listen, you will try it out for 3 days ok and another 5 days.  If you are still not happy you can stop going and try again next year. 
OK

Believe me I simply do not know how I will manage not to cry on Wednesday morning in front of him.  This morning during that conversation, I fought more tears than I ever did before.  However once inside his classroom he was quite happy to mix with the kids and play with them (at the time building blocks).  He did come for help whenever something didn't go according to his way and I tried to let the teacher guide him by telling him that here it is Ms Joanne whom he has to ask for help mummy is just looking- didn't work much I admit but still....

And yes if after a week he does insist on not wanting to go to school I will not make him go.  After all this is pre-school and next year is a brand new day :)