The most difficult aspect in disciplining children is actually disciplining ourselves the parents and those who are in close contact with our children.
It is already not so easy to keep oneself in check but how do you make others understand the importance of certain aspects of parenting or rather disciplining?
The child does something which is unacceptable like hitting. You admonish him and give him a time in (rather than a time out I prefer a time in. We spend 5 minutes together doing nothing apart for reminding him that it is not acceptable to hit and why) BUT you still cuddle him and comfort him. Is that unusual? Do you think you are not giving him the right interpretation?
Let me try explain the reasoning- you are telling your child that it is not ok to do certain things like hitting. However it is ok to feel upset about the whole issue of having been reminded and got into a time in and mama is still here to make you feel better about it. Firm yet gentle!
I find this hard to get it across certain people and its frustrating since things than normally escalate even more. In this quest of mine to discipline my children firmly yet gently I have taken a new year resolution already- that to stop shouting at my children when I am tired or out of it. To ask for more help if I feel the need without the nagging feeling of being not a good enough mother. To LISTEN more to my children (my son if he sees me getting angry and sometimes I haven't even shouted he tells dont shout mama- it does not always get across to me but many a time I find it like a bucket of cold water and stops me immediately from becoming like an angry bull).
And you how do you find discipline?
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Thursday, December 8, 2011
Disciplining Adults
The most difficult aspect in disciplining children is actually disciplining ourselves the parents and those who are in close contact with our children.
It is already not so easy to keep oneself in check but how do you make others understand the importance of certain aspects of parenting or rather disciplining?
The child does something which is unacceptable like hitting. You admonish him and give him a time in (rather than a time out I prefer a time in. We spend 5 minutes together doing nothing apart for reminding him that it is not acceptable to hit and why) BUT you still cuddle him and comfort him. Is that unusual? Do you think you are not giving him the right interpretation?
Let me try explain the reasoning- you are telling your child that it is not ok to do certain things like hitting. However it is ok to feel upset about the whole issue of having been reminded and got into a time in and mama is still here to make you feel better about it. Firm yet gentle!
I find this hard to get it across certain people and its frustrating since things than normally escalate even more. In this quest of mine to discipline my children firmly yet gently I have taken a new year resolution already- that to stop shouting at my children when I am tired or out of it. To ask for more help if I feel the need without the nagging feeling of being not a good enough mother. To LISTEN more to my children (my son if he sees me getting angry and sometimes I haven't even shouted he tells dont shout mama- it does not always get across to me but many a time I find it like a bucket of cold water and stops me immediately from becoming like an angry bull).
And you how do you find discipline?
It is already not so easy to keep oneself in check but how do you make others understand the importance of certain aspects of parenting or rather disciplining?
The child does something which is unacceptable like hitting. You admonish him and give him a time in (rather than a time out I prefer a time in. We spend 5 minutes together doing nothing apart for reminding him that it is not acceptable to hit and why) BUT you still cuddle him and comfort him. Is that unusual? Do you think you are not giving him the right interpretation?
Let me try explain the reasoning- you are telling your child that it is not ok to do certain things like hitting. However it is ok to feel upset about the whole issue of having been reminded and got into a time in and mama is still here to make you feel better about it. Firm yet gentle!
I find this hard to get it across certain people and its frustrating since things than normally escalate even more. In this quest of mine to discipline my children firmly yet gently I have taken a new year resolution already- that to stop shouting at my children when I am tired or out of it. To ask for more help if I feel the need without the nagging feeling of being not a good enough mother. To LISTEN more to my children (my son if he sees me getting angry and sometimes I haven't even shouted he tells dont shout mama- it does not always get across to me but many a time I find it like a bucket of cold water and stops me immediately from becoming like an angry bull).
And you how do you find discipline?
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