The gift within me

See this has been a different pregnancy is many ways.  Not only the physical changes occurred much quicker than before and not only I feel much more tired than before or feel this baby kick a lot more than Gregory ever did.

This baby has given me a gift.  I have realised how blessed I am with falling pregnant so easily.  I have seen more beauty in my emerging growing son than I might have seen had I not been pregnant.  I am much more excited about seeing this baby and can't wait to have it in my arms.  I wonder if they got the sex right and that has now increased my impatience to view my baby.

Sorting through the newborn clothes recently and making wardrobe space for them got me whimsical and at the same time terrified-look at Gregory sleeping sweetly, being able to give him all my attention.....I know my next child will be loved as much as Greg but I can't fathom how I will divide myself to them yet.  Although I plan and think, I won't really know what will happen and how this will effect us all before baby is born.

The last gift I feel this baby has given me is more patience- I wonder at myself when I see myself hold back from scolding, smacking or shouting at Gregory.  I find my patience has been growing and that is probably one of the biggest gifts of all for me!