Here I am, a mum, that suddenly, her patience cracked and I started shouting and ranting and screaming at my child. A child who looked at me totally uncomprehending and finally dissolved into uncontrolable tears which in turn, evaporated my anger and filled me with guilt!
Guilt that instead of breathing to calm myself out as I know I should do in these situations, just let anger take over at a click simply coz my son was wriggly and I wanted to put his pjs on. My son who was actually starting to feel tired by than so was whiny. The one that smiles and hugs me as if there will be no other day.... but I was tired, we had a long day and I just wanted to relax and in the end I simply flipped.
I know I am not the first one and that it happens coz we are human! But I still wonder about that mama guilt for flipping.....guess there is only one reason for that guilt...we know that they can't help themselves and don't truly comprehend but we, we do! and whether we are tired or not, we are still their parents to take care of them and we should be emphatic and patient. But sometimes, we don't manage and so we have to deal with the guilt!
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Monday, December 7, 2009
guilty!
Here I am, a mum, that suddenly, her patience cracked and I started shouting and ranting and screaming at my child. A child who looked at me totally uncomprehending and finally dissolved into uncontrolable tears which in turn, evaporated my anger and filled me with guilt!
Guilt that instead of breathing to calm myself out as I know I should do in these situations, just let anger take over at a click simply coz my son was wriggly and I wanted to put his pjs on. My son who was actually starting to feel tired by than so was whiny. The one that smiles and hugs me as if there will be no other day.... but I was tired, we had a long day and I just wanted to relax and in the end I simply flipped.
I know I am not the first one and that it happens coz we are human! But I still wonder about that mama guilt for flipping.....guess there is only one reason for that guilt...we know that they can't help themselves and don't truly comprehend but we, we do! and whether we are tired or not, we are still their parents to take care of them and we should be emphatic and patient. But sometimes, we don't manage and so we have to deal with the guilt!
Guilt that instead of breathing to calm myself out as I know I should do in these situations, just let anger take over at a click simply coz my son was wriggly and I wanted to put his pjs on. My son who was actually starting to feel tired by than so was whiny. The one that smiles and hugs me as if there will be no other day.... but I was tired, we had a long day and I just wanted to relax and in the end I simply flipped.
I know I am not the first one and that it happens coz we are human! But I still wonder about that mama guilt for flipping.....guess there is only one reason for that guilt...we know that they can't help themselves and don't truly comprehend but we, we do! and whether we are tired or not, we are still their parents to take care of them and we should be emphatic and patient. But sometimes, we don't manage and so we have to deal with the guilt!
5 comments:
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Anonymous said...
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When the kids I nanny for drive me nuts my boss says 'thank goodness! sometimes I think you're wonder woman but now I know you're normal!'
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December 7, 2009 at 8:24 PM
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KarieK said...
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We are only human and no matter how level or calm we may be, we all have a breaking point. Don't feel guilty, the feeling of the loss of control is normal. He loves you and you love him all the same, it is not as if you lashed out at him in hate or rage, frustration and love. (HUGS) to you my friend, everything will be okay. Just know, there are days like this.
K -
December 8, 2009 at 4:39 PM
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Magaly Guerrero said...
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I repeat what you said and what everybody echoed "we are only human". I don't have any children, but there are times I'm frustrated because of whatever and I take it out on my dad if he gives me any chance. I feel like a pile of crap afterwards, so I apologize and we continue going. Life is that way, we'll always do human things, even if they aren't pretty.
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December 8, 2009 at 5:56 PM
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Mademoiselle Deva said...
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It happens to everyone whether is our own child or no. As you said we are human and we make mistakes and react with anger, but I can understand that pangs of guilt can kill.
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December 9, 2009 at 1:26 PM
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Marie said...
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Been there done that. Gotta let it go!
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December 10, 2009 at 6:35 AM
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5 comments:
When the kids I nanny for drive me nuts my boss says 'thank goodness! sometimes I think you're wonder woman but now I know you're normal!'
We are only human and no matter how level or calm we may be, we all have a breaking point. Don't feel guilty, the feeling of the loss of control is normal. He loves you and you love him all the same, it is not as if you lashed out at him in hate or rage, frustration and love. (HUGS) to you my friend, everything will be okay. Just know, there are days like this.
K
I repeat what you said and what everybody echoed "we are only human". I don't have any children, but there are times I'm frustrated because of whatever and I take it out on my dad if he gives me any chance. I feel like a pile of crap afterwards, so I apologize and we continue going. Life is that way, we'll always do human things, even if they aren't pretty.
It happens to everyone whether is our own child or no. As you said we are human and we make mistakes and react with anger, but I can understand that pangs of guilt can kill.
Been there done that. Gotta let it go!
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