I went to lunch with my girl friends and had Gregory with me. I really had a great time and Gregory was peacefully sleeping till some teething pain woke him up. What I hated most at that moment, what made me angry and also sad is the attitude of the people.
Soon after he started crying, I began receiving pitying looks (kind of poor you, you can't enjoy yourself now with a baby), then they started changing on various degrees to curiosity, disdain, anger & also disgust. Why you ask?
Curiosity to why this little baby won't stop crying and his mum 'doing nothing'; disdain & anger that after 20mins it is going on and hey you are disturbing our lunch (as if the noise from other tables & music was nothing but a baby crying is insufferable- guess it is really come to think of it but still) and disgust cause they believe that since he is still crying than you do not know how to care for your child & you are more interested in having fun.
This results in you feeling inadequate, guilty, embarrassed & ashamed- followed quickly by anger that people should make you feel this way (especially when the people around you have young children or older people who are sure to have had their own) and sadness that this kind of thing happens and you feel like you haven't got the right to go out with your child anywhere where there are other people except for the beach or some other kid oriented place.
I am not embarrassed to go out with my son even if he is crying (you'd know what it is from). I try to calm him down but not always you can (especially if its the teeth or tummy ache). Yes if I see that it is going to take long for him to calm I leave as I do understand that not everyone likes hearing babies crying ---well I suppose no one does but you have some extremes---and its easier anyway to be at home in a familiar environment for him to calm as he understands that he is now at home and feels more secure and at ease. Yet to feel those eyes burning in your back and seeing those pitying looks etc are a sadness in a world were we should be tolerable and at the end of the day what do you expect a baby to do? he can only express himself through crying. And what do you expect us parents to do? We do not enjoy seeing them suffer but at times you can do nothing but hug your little angel, but that doesn't mean that we should be banned from places of leisure.
Parents don't let them put you down and for goodness sake don't panic and tense as your child will sense it and will feel more frightened and so will cry even more. Just relax try to sooth him and if he won't sooth within 20 mins then it's time for you to go home as he won't calm himself anywhere else.
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Sunday, May 3, 2009
Eating out with babies
I went to lunch with my girl friends and had Gregory with me. I really had a great time and Gregory was peacefully sleeping till some teething pain woke him up. What I hated most at that moment, what made me angry and also sad is the attitude of the people.
Soon after he started crying, I began receiving pitying looks (kind of poor you, you can't enjoy yourself now with a baby), then they started changing on various degrees to curiosity, disdain, anger & also disgust. Why you ask?
Curiosity to why this little baby won't stop crying and his mum 'doing nothing'; disdain & anger that after 20mins it is going on and hey you are disturbing our lunch (as if the noise from other tables & music was nothing but a baby crying is insufferable- guess it is really come to think of it but still) and disgust cause they believe that since he is still crying than you do not know how to care for your child & you are more interested in having fun.
This results in you feeling inadequate, guilty, embarrassed & ashamed- followed quickly by anger that people should make you feel this way (especially when the people around you have young children or older people who are sure to have had their own) and sadness that this kind of thing happens and you feel like you haven't got the right to go out with your child anywhere where there are other people except for the beach or some other kid oriented place.
I am not embarrassed to go out with my son even if he is crying (you'd know what it is from). I try to calm him down but not always you can (especially if its the teeth or tummy ache). Yes if I see that it is going to take long for him to calm I leave as I do understand that not everyone likes hearing babies crying ---well I suppose no one does but you have some extremes---and its easier anyway to be at home in a familiar environment for him to calm as he understands that he is now at home and feels more secure and at ease. Yet to feel those eyes burning in your back and seeing those pitying looks etc are a sadness in a world were we should be tolerable and at the end of the day what do you expect a baby to do? he can only express himself through crying. And what do you expect us parents to do? We do not enjoy seeing them suffer but at times you can do nothing but hug your little angel, but that doesn't mean that we should be banned from places of leisure.
Parents don't let them put you down and for goodness sake don't panic and tense as your child will sense it and will feel more frightened and so will cry even more. Just relax try to sooth him and if he won't sooth within 20 mins then it's time for you to go home as he won't calm himself anywhere else.
Soon after he started crying, I began receiving pitying looks (kind of poor you, you can't enjoy yourself now with a baby), then they started changing on various degrees to curiosity, disdain, anger & also disgust. Why you ask?
Curiosity to why this little baby won't stop crying and his mum 'doing nothing'; disdain & anger that after 20mins it is going on and hey you are disturbing our lunch (as if the noise from other tables & music was nothing but a baby crying is insufferable- guess it is really come to think of it but still) and disgust cause they believe that since he is still crying than you do not know how to care for your child & you are more interested in having fun.
This results in you feeling inadequate, guilty, embarrassed & ashamed- followed quickly by anger that people should make you feel this way (especially when the people around you have young children or older people who are sure to have had their own) and sadness that this kind of thing happens and you feel like you haven't got the right to go out with your child anywhere where there are other people except for the beach or some other kid oriented place.
I am not embarrassed to go out with my son even if he is crying (you'd know what it is from). I try to calm him down but not always you can (especially if its the teeth or tummy ache). Yes if I see that it is going to take long for him to calm I leave as I do understand that not everyone likes hearing babies crying ---well I suppose no one does but you have some extremes---and its easier anyway to be at home in a familiar environment for him to calm as he understands that he is now at home and feels more secure and at ease. Yet to feel those eyes burning in your back and seeing those pitying looks etc are a sadness in a world were we should be tolerable and at the end of the day what do you expect a baby to do? he can only express himself through crying. And what do you expect us parents to do? We do not enjoy seeing them suffer but at times you can do nothing but hug your little angel, but that doesn't mean that we should be banned from places of leisure.
Parents don't let them put you down and for goodness sake don't panic and tense as your child will sense it and will feel more frightened and so will cry even more. Just relax try to sooth him and if he won't sooth within 20 mins then it's time for you to go home as he won't calm himself anywhere else.
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