Autumn

We've had the first Autumn rains.  The weather is slowly becoming chiller- at least early morning and night time.  We've reverted to the Winter food and have our thick red carpet downstairs to play on.  Our weather chart is not at a standstill anymore on sunny but is turning around to include windy, cloudy and rainy.

Its comforting knowing that the new season is here- starting-

Gregory wants to go to school -alone- he will eat crackers and sandwich and be given milk and will also eat the fruit he says.  His bag is ready together with crayons, drawing book, lunch box, water bottle and milk cup.  I wonder if he'll be in this same frame of mind come February but I trust he will and I am so happy for him.  He wants friends he tells me.

Maya is standing alone.  That is not holding on to anything.  Today she even tried to walk without holding on!  She amazes me!  I admit I am looking forward to be with her alone and get to know my little girl better.

Autumn....what a beautiful season for firsts and lasts !

a time to grow

Its a rare quiet afternoon with both kids sleeping nowadays.

Me and hubs are trying to think of new ways to engage Gregory who is in a disequilibrium and boredom state of mind.

Decided to be honest with myself and the night time parenting is draining me (as kids want me and only me!).  So as Gregory ends up to be the one to get all the bad karma, I will slowly stop nursing him at night.  How does this add up?  I become so drained with Maya waking so much to nurse that when Gregory does I feel him a burden.  Since I can't give that message to him and in his drowsy state there is no reasoning and as it is of no fault to him than I need to re adjust priorities and his night nursing will go together with all the bad vibes.  I feel bad about it like I am cheating him of something, and yet I know that this is the right decision.  During the day it is fine as he doesn't quite ask for it so much and I am ok to give it to him.  He is requesting more of it lately- reverting again to babyhood before it seems another develpoment spurt.  It is exhilarating knowing this will happen but tiring and irritating and very very trying.

I am happy finally I feel our team is shaping up!

Headless Chicken

Sometimes(or maybe most of the time) we tend to loose track of what we were originally thinking or doing.  Or maybe we simply have no idea what was going through our heads at all.

Our rythm at home and out is right now in pieces and I wonder why September always gives me this grief!  I just realised that EVERY September we have this problem.  At the same time I have lost so many down time recently that I find myself running blindly in every direction.  Not sure of what I was meant to be doing, thinking etc.  I struggle to get back into the groove of things but there is always a little something here and there that looses my senses.

It is very interesting for me to be aware of this situation and so now I need to untangle every bit of it- one little tiny step at a time (just like Maya who is taking small little steps towards her independence).  I realise that whenever I am out of synch, so is the rest of the family - the kids are unrestful and cranky and hubs normally gets angry quicker. 

So I am off to slowly start unravelling this puzzle and maybe its best to start with finding a better down time routine!

Putting the dragon to sleep

Over and over I have been blessed and given what I needed exactly when I needed it.  Recently I realised I had reached what many call mommy burn out and felt desperate to regain some balance as I was affecting not just myself but the rest of my family with my behaviour.  I looked up for some retreat and lo and behold this retreat came up at the perfect price.  I took it without a second thought but with lots of guilty feelings and worry anyway.  Guilty that I was bumping my husband and his mom with my two babies out of the blue without giving them much of an option and worry that they might not be fine nighttime (its when they are high needs for me).  But whatever the notions I went and it was a blessing a wonderful experience.

It helped me remember things I had lost sight of, become aware of things I was told about but never really looked at, understood more what I was meant to do and of course relax and enjoy this very short break.

I will be grateful forever for the people I met there who helped me out and encouraged me and let me talk over and over about my kids.  And I am forever in debted with my Lord who gave me what I needed when I needed it once more!

A time for expansion which call for more graces

The peak of Summer is hopefully over and we are awaiting eagerly Autumn here at our house (or lets say I am!).  Summer also gave me lots of graces  for which I am ever so thankful.  You can mostly see that they are Greg related and his sudden developmentwhich continually amaze me.

131.  Panties on my son
132. long sentences and lots to say
133. mild Summer
134. crawling daughter, waving bye bye, hello and also clapping
135. home made tomato polpa and peach preserve
136. evening walks
137. two little teeth
138. trying to let go whilst standing to walk (so busy this girl)
139. all night sleeping from my big boy in his own bed and room
140. expanding his menu
141. wanting to make friends and go to school
142. making new friends
143. awareness of my awareness
144. Church going twice weekly with a generally quietish Greg
145. Loving her food- whatever it is as long as its like ours
146. crawling to daddy or nanna as soon as she sees them
147. chatting with his sister and seeing her glow at the attention he is giving her
148. finally finding like minded mums that make me feel relaxed and at ease
149. regaining my balance
150. being able to help others with my meagre knowledge on pregnancy, birth and childhood